Love a little more...

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that”. I love this quote because it highlights an old principle that is still very relevant in this present generation. This is a generation were women now criticize and judge one another and there is no more unity or sense of togetherness. Showing love is popularly viewed as a sign of weakness or vulnerability or lack of character whereas it is and should be seen s as a sign of strength, dignity and respect.

I am a Christian and it saddens me that most many churches have lost their focus from the teachings of the Bible on love and compassion and they show more hatred than is displayed by the so called “sinners’. The Bible clearly teaches us to love the sinner and to hate sin. The Bible does not teach us Christians to chastise one another or to criticize one another, it teaches us to show love and to live by example and not force our beliefs on other people. Nowadays, pastors blatantly admonish congregations to stay away from homosexuals and separate themselves from them as much as possible. This is really disappointing because in my opinion, this is a very condescending and judgmental way to deal with such situations. It is certainly not the Christian approach. I believe that a more appropriate way to deal with such situations is not to condemn but to show love and use our own lives as examples. By doing this, we are not forcing our personal values and beliefs on other people; rather we are exposing our light and giving them control over their own lives.

Love is the most important principle in our generation today. Most of the problems our society faces today are directly or inversely as a result of a lack of love. Love is a pivotal force, it ties with almost every other positive attitude or attribute. With love, comes respect for yourself and everyone else. If people had respect for themselves and each other, there would be less fighting and more people living in peace irrespective of their race, gender, religion or sexual orientation. One of the main problems of government today is corruption, if government officials had respect for themselves and the people they were in authority over, they will not steal from them and lie to them so consistently. 

With love also comes giving, if people gave more there would be less people on streets, less people dying of hunger and thirst and less hatred in people’s hearts.. With love comes empathy, which is the ability to understand and share feelings of another.  If people were more empathetic, they would be less likely to show what they feel, and more likely to act and respond the way they would want to receive if they were in that situation, which in most cases is not a pat on the back, it is just understanding and love, not for being right but for being human.

According to the Bible, which is my guidebook for life, ‘love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs, love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. In my opinion, this says it all and this is a perfect definition of what love truly is.

Ok, so this whole article has been about the importance and the fundamental nature of love and how it makes the world a better place but the truth is, most people only do things when there is a sure benefit not just to the society at large, but to them as an individual. So, here are some personal benefits of love. First, love gives you a certain pleasant aura, it adds a certain glow to your personality and there is nothing more attractive than a person of good character. Also, love removes all forms of stress and anxiety; it makes a person look youthful, vibrant and confident. Finally, love affects everyone around you, so you become a joy to be around and a shining light in the crowd, the one everyone admires and secretly wants to be like. I will admit that showing love is not always an easy thing but it is well worth it in the end.

In our society, love is overrated but the power of love is underrated. Love does not take as much of an effort as it seems. Love does not have to be devoting your whole day to someone or giving them a truck load of money. Love could just be a smile or a hug or a tender touch but it could do as much as save a life. So please, love a little more…

Let's have C.O.F.F.E.E

The road to success is different for anyone, the importance and the significance therefore, does not lie at the destination but in the journey. Everyone has the same or very similar destinations, but the path one chooses to take separates the weak from the strong, the bold from the timid and the gold from the wood. There are many skills and values one needs to acquire and imbibe as tools and weapons on this tricky road and it is important for one to know their desired destination in the early laps of the race. It is also very important to have the right company on their way. Company that will ensure that you have C.O.F.F.E.E every step of the way

C.O.F.F.E.E is confidence, outside of the box attitude, faith, focus, enthusiasm and excellence. C.O.F.F.E.E is very important because it is the one common denominator on the journey to success. ‘C’ stands for confidence. Norman Vincent Peale once said “Believe in you! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy”. This quote is amazing because it pretty much sums up everything one needs to know about confidence and its significance. Peale is right, true confidence is not arrogant or pompous. It is just being sure of your abilities and having the wisdom to know when and when not to speak or react. Success is all about timing, the difference between who gets the job and who doesn’t is not usually the experience they have or the education they have, it is usually their ability to sell themselves. Confidence can be defined as a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something or a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true. You cannot market what you do not believe, therefore, it is important that you believe in you, so that you can sell yourself in the best way and convince others you are worth their time and resources. Be confident in yourself and in your art, because for starters, you are the only you in the world and that’s an immense advantage.

The ‘O’ in C.O.F.F.E.E stands for thinking outside the box, it is the secret ingredient every successful person possesses. If people know what you are going to say next, then you lack innovation and creativity and authenticity. You also do not think outside the box because if someone knows what you are going to say next, chances are they have heard someone else say it before. Thinking outside the box involves courage and a little bit of paranoia. Courage because it involves creating ideas that will seem crazy and outrageous to everyone else, and so the motivation to move forward with it, not knowing whether it will be a smashing success or an epic disaster requires courage. A little bit of paranoia because if you keep in the back of your mind that someone may have already thought of your idea then it will push you to make your representation better than it already is and this will only improve yours. However, paying attention to the fact that only a little bit of paranoia is needed is very important. This is because if you have more than you need, it can prove to be stumbling block and an obstacle to your progress. If you have an overdose of paranoia, you will never get anything completed and your journey to success will be over before you reach your destination because you will be stuck in one place for too long. Maya Angelou once said “you can’t use up creativity, the more you use the more you have”

The first ‘F’ in C.O.F.F.E.E stands for family and friends. The relationships one has are a major determinant of their altitude on the ladder of success. This just has to do with relationships and how significant they are. The only difference between your family and your friends are that you are born to a family but you decide who your friends are. This just highlights the infinite wisdom of God because He realizes what every child he makes needs and that is what he provides that child with in the form of a family. On the other hand, God believes that you too should have a hand in your destiny therefore he gives every person the chance to pick who they want to share their life with. Hence, friends are often referred to as a person’s ‘chosen family’. Now, some people who have dysfunctional families may question God and ask Him if the family he gave to them is what they deserve. However, God is never wrong and he always has a plan. If for example, one was born to a mother who is a drug addict or a father who left them when they were really young, one may find it hard to see a bright future. Being born to parents who are not role models or a support system is incredibly difficult but it is also a vital learning experience. It may have an effect on the line of work a person decides to choose or just their personal life goals. A person with a junkie for a mother could decide to become an addiction counselor to help many people to not be like their mother. They would be especially effective because they would know first-hand the feelings of the addict and their loved ones as well and this is always the first step in helping someone who has such a problem. Understanding the way someone feels is instrumental in understanding what they do and the way they behave. Not having a father or a father-figure can be equally as destructive for both boys and girls. A boy without a father would not know how to treat a lady and how to be a leader and a girl without a father would not know how a man is supposed to treat her and as such, she would not wait for her prince charming, she would be willing to kiss any frog that comes her way.

The second ‘F’ in C.O.F.F.E.E stands for focus. Focus is defined by the dictionary (a.k.a me) as the ability to not lose sight of a goal and the willingness to do whatever needs to be done to achieve the goal. Focus is very important in life because if you have a goal then you would have the wisdom to realize whether something is contributing or taking away from the successful completion of the goal. If you did not have goals then you would not be able to tell the difference between a distraction and a good use of time and effort. Not having goals is like not having a road map or in our more technologically savvy world, a navigation system while going somewhere you have never been before. Goals are not only a road map but they help tell you if you are on the way to your destination or you are on the wrong route. Sometimes, staying focused n your goals and the destination can prove to be very difficult, so finding a mentor can prove to be very helpful. Not a friend, a mentor, there is a huge difference. A friend is an amazing companion and a person everyone needs but they are often patronizing and tell us not necessarily what we need to hear but what we want to hear because they are too afraid of hurting us. A mentor is a person who is not afraid to say the truth and tell it like it is. He or she is more concerned with the bigger goal than with one’s feelings being hurt. This is very important to have because most people have friends but only successful people have mentors. Mentors help one develop a thick skin and help one learn to cope with criticism.

The first ‘E’ in C.O.F.F.E.E stands for enthusiasm. Enthusiasm can be defined as a strong excitement about something and a strong feeling of active interest in something that you like or enjoy.  This is a very valid definition of enthusiasm because it highlights the different ingredients that are required for it. Firstly, to be enthusiastic, one has to be excited about what they are doing, if the path you take does not seem exciting, you will soon lose interest and the motivation required to continue.  Also, to be successful, one has to like what it is they are doing because if one does not like the path they take then the journey to the destination would be quite boring and when the going gets tough and one faces obstacles, they are less likely to fight through them if they actually do not have a genuine love for what they do, it is very easy to quit if you are not enjoying what you do. Also, enthusiasm pushes and encourages one to be optimistic, to see the glass “half full” not “half empty”. If one is enthusiastic about what they do, they tend to be very optimistic as well and this is important because failure is inevitable. Enthusiasm and hope is what separates the person who falls and dusts themselves off and continues the journey, and a man who falls and decides to turn back or worse just sits there and licks his wounds. An enthusiast sees failure not as a stumbling block but just any another obstacle to be crossed over. A successful person cannot be lazy because the road to success is the road less traveled, so there are many more thorns and bushes in the path. As Robert frost said “I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference”

The final letter, the last ‘E’ stands for excellence. Excellence can be defined as being of extremely high quality. Being excellent is not a choice in this society; it is just another requirement of success. It is not a choice, it is a necessity. Most people have been excellent at something at one point or another in their lives but the type of excellence that success requires is balanced and consistent. Balance is an essential part of excellence in today’s society one cannot be good at one thing at the expense of another thing. One does not get to chose what they are good at; they have to be multipurpose. Consistency is also very important because as much as a one-hit wonder is celebrated during the time when his song s still popular, the time is very short but if they make hit after hit after hit, then they can be counted as successful. The only difference between a one-hit wonder and a legend is consistency. To become a legend or an expert in a field, one has to be willing to try it over and over again after failing. The hunger and the thirst for success should be enough to motivate you to do whatever it takes to achieve your goal. Being excellent does not happen overnight. Even if, you are from a musical family and it is in your genes to sing beautifully, it was passed from generation to generation and the first person who started the trend certainly put in the consistent effort needed to become great.

Finally, the road to success may seem bleak and too hard but remember that it has to be traveled to get to your destination. Instead of looking for short-cuts and easier routes, face the challenge like a warrior and come out victorious. Being successful is not about enduring the pain and suffering in sight of a greater goal, it is about turning the pain and suffering into a good experience and making the most of them. The journey to success does not have to be painful and exhausting, it can be enjoyable, filled with laughter and love and great memories. I did not say it will be easy but it is now left for you to decide whether you are going to enjoy the hardship and turn into a motivating force or dwell on it and remain stagnant. Success like everything in life is a choice; so I ask do you want to be successful?  if yes, then let’s do C.O.F.F.E.E!!