Green with envy!

Envy is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as the feeling of wanting to have what someone else has. The Oxford dictionary defines envy as a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities or luck. Personally, I prefer Oxford’s definition because although it seems more complex, it is also more comprehensive and explicit. I prefer this definition because it portrays the fact some people are unconsciously envious. Some people are not actively longing what something someone else has but they become discontented with what they have or where they are or even begin to resent the other person simply because of something they have.

It is natural to be envious, it is what is done with this envy and how long it lasts that differentiates the good and healthy from the bad. The bad and unhealthy kind of envy is almost always money-driven. What I mean by this is that, envy becomes unhealthy when one is builds up resentment or discontentment because another person has more money than them. Some people may argue with this by saying, money can motivate one to work harder. To these people, I say that it is true that money can be a motivating factor, but it isn’t in this case. Money should be a source of encouragement, an added benefit but here, it is the only factor, and therefore a recipe for disaster. When money is a person’s only driving force, it is like adding fertilizer to a bare piece of land. No matter how much you add, a plant or crop will never grow. A seed needs to be planted first, so the fertilizer has something to work on. The seed does not depend on fertilizer to germinate; a fertilizer only motivates the seed to germinate faster.

The good and healthy kind of envy is much deeper and less materialistic. This kind of envy may be triggered by materialistic things but it immediately develops into a much deeper motivation. The difference between good and bad envy can be seen by the difference in thought processes of people. For instance, Kate and Mel are two of the biggest fans of Beyoncé. They both love her music, and are both initially intrigued by the image Beyoncé portrays. However Kate only sees the fancy clothes, the fancy cars, the private jets and the general lavish style. Soon she becomes consumed by the idea of Beyoncé she has created in her mind. If she is not careful, she would channel all her energy into become this person who does not exist. Mel also notices the lavish lifestyle but she is more conscientious. She does research on Beyoncé’s life and her journey and soon notices that it has not always being so rosy. A lot of hard work and dedication and blood and sweat and tears have gone in to make Beyoncé the woman she is today. Although both of them may become extremely wealthy as well, Kate’s foundation is shaky so she will most likely lose the wealth as fast as she got it. Mel on the other hand has worked for her money, so she will sustain her wealth.

Whether you like it or not, everyone has felt some form of envy, what separates is what one does with it and what envy as a concept symbolizes to each individual. Here are four steps to giving envy a good meaning;

Enthusiasm : Enthusiasm is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as intense and eager enjoyment, interest or approval. It is very important to know your personality. If you are the kind of person to get angry or frustrated when you hear of another person’s success, channel any anger or frustration into something more constructive. Channel your anger and frustration into bettering yourself in any way can, whether it is in practicing your craft, reading good books or sharing your ideas with the right people. You can only be angry or frustrated when you have time to be, use your time effectively. Spending your time complaining about someone else means that you think they are more deserving of your time than you are at that moment.

Notice!  : Study people who have what you want, not with envy but with enthusiasm. Read books they have written or suggested, listen to their interviews, use the internet! Here’s the funny thing about the internet, it encourages whatever you want it to. If you go on gossip websites, it will lead you to more gossip websites. If you go on inspirational websites, it will lead you to more inspirational websites. Instead of spending time you do not have gossiping about how rich people are illegitimately rich or how they are not spending their money wisely, learn how to make your own and then you can be in charge.

Value your journey and never play the victim: Valuing your journey is extremely important. Realize that everyone has a different journey in life, there comparing in any form will only make life more miserable. Do not look for shortcuts, recognize that every step in the journey is significant and serves a purpose. Also, it is important not to play the victim; there is nothing more unattractive and unflattering than wallowing in self pity. When one is successful, your first instinct should not be judging them or pointing out what resources that they had that you do not, thereby tagging their success “unattainable” for yourself. Excuses are for children, people who are fond of giving excuses take five times more time to accomplish the same task as someone who does not give excuses. Recently, I came across one of the most inspiring people in the world. His name is Nick Vujicic, he is a Christian evangelist and motivational speaker. He was also born with tetra-amelia syndrome which basically means he does not have any of his four limbs. If he wanted to be envious, it would have killed him because only 3% of the world’s population is born like him, this gives 97% of the world’s population and advantage over him, a percentage you most likely fall into. In the unlikely chance that you fall into the 3%, you are extremely special, and you also have an edge over 97% of the world. So I am referring to every single person, when I say, if Nick can do it, you can do it too.

Yours and Mine: In order for one to loosen one’s self from the shackles of envy, one has to be able to differentiate between what is for them and what is for others. Obviously, we as humans are drawn to materialistic things but these things can confuse us and as such we need to be cautious. Sometimes, when we see opulent celebrities in society, the message they send is received wrongly. Most frequently, rappers feel the need to flaunt their wealth in their lifestyle and on social media, but what is horrible is that young boys are not getting the message that diligence and hard work and persistence yields results. Instead they are getting the message that rap is extremely lucrative. This is probably why every Tom, Dick and Harry between the ages of fourteen and eighteen feels like they too, should begin a career in rap. Knowing what path is yours in life is very important because if you go on the wrong path, you miss your way and the whole journey becomes distorted.

This thing called envy can be extremely tricky. One has to be careful and wise enough to maintain a positive attitude towards other people’s success and achievement by giving envy a positive meaning to them. Remember, envy is a feeling, and therefore, it is meant to be temporary and short-lived. Envy only becomes a problem when it is dwelled upon and turned into an emotion and eventually a mindset. BEWARE!!!