Hammers and Nails

In this world, there are two types of people, hammers and nails.  A hammer is a person who is aware, a person who takes an active role in determining their future. A hammer is conscious of every decision and every move, and how it affects the journey to their end goal.  A nail on the other hand, is passive and nonchalant, and barely in control of their life. A nail is basically a puppet being controlled by anything and everything, often a hammer.

It is very important to state now that there are times in life where we as human beings, experience things that are completely out of our control. In such situations, we are not nails. It is the aftermath of these experiences that determine whether one is a hammer or a nail.

Here are a few tips on how to be a hammer and how not to be a nail, consciously or unconsciously;

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    Be focused

o   Laser focus is an essential and fundamental skill that every hammer must possess. Being focused involves tuning out all distractions. A distraction is anything or anyone that prevents one from accomplishing a set task in a timely, effective and efficient manner. Being focused also often involved a lot sacrifice, self-management, time-management and prioritizing. Becoming a hammer involves dissolving any and all relationships that do not add any form of value to one’s life and journey.

    Be ambitious

o   Being ambitious is having dreams and goals that will help you achieve those dreams. It is important to be able to differentiate between the two, while still recognizing their individual value and significance. Dreams are essentially goals that you presently do not possess the tools needed to achieve. Being ambitious is often unrealistic and that is perfectly fine. Being ambitious means having goals that challenge your ability and open your mind to new ways of doing things. Goals that are guaranteed to move one closer to achieving their dreams. Being ambitious helps maintain a certain level of fire, focus and flair. Being ambitious helps one get comfortable with dreaming big. Ambition ensures one is running towards something and not running away from something. Ambition is never driven by fear or insecurity.

·      Hammers are leaders

o   Hammers often possess leadership qualities. They are open to creative criticism and maintain a positive attitude in the wake of it. Hammers are always open to new ideas and different perspectives but they do not depend on it. Hammers are able to adapt, they are able to get comfortable outside their comfort zones. Leaders are wise, in that they are able to decipher which situations need a leader and which ones require them to work effectively in a team. More importantly, they are able to function effectively in both circumstances.

·      Keep a firm balance

o   There is a difference between having a mind of your own and not being receptive to creative criticism. Being hard-headed is never a positive personality trait. A hammer is also able to say ‘no’ without feeling obligated to give an explanation. This is not to say that they are comfortable being rude because that is unattractive. This is just to say that hammers are not ‘yes-men’, they are not people pleasers. They are able to make sound decisions and be comfortable with them. A hammer is articulate and always conscious of tact and timing when communicating.

This is a perfect time to discuss and clarify some misconceptions often associated with being hammers and nails.

1.    There is a popular quote that basically means that hammers often treat other people who are not as outspoken or dominant as them, like nails. Although this is often accurate, a true hammer is considerate of other people’s feelings. A true hammer is often the leader of the group but makes sure to respect and recognize that every person contributes a peculiar perspective to the group. A true nail recognizes that every person has a magic that is just their own, a magic that cannot be duplicated.

2.     Contrary to popular opinion, a hammer can be firm and stand their ground without turning people off. Hammers often have dominant personalities but this is more like a common trait and not a pre-requisite. Some of the world’s most famous hammers are extremely soft-spoken and it works. A strong personality is not a manipulative or over-bearing, it is one that is firm and one that commands respect without directly asking for it. Having a strong personality is not off-putting, it is not an excuse to be rude and inconsiderate and difficult. A hammer is not overbearing, manipulative or forceful of their personal opinions.

3.     There are couple of people who do not realize that they are nails. For example, the “God has a plan” nails. These are people who are waiting for God to physically give them everything they want. Now, I am a Christian and I do believe that God has a plan for every person. However, I also believe that he leads one to this plan and multiplies your efforts to get in line with His plan. Being a hammer requires a conscious decision and a significant level of effort. A person who is sitting or lying down often cannot be helped and zero multiplied by any number, no matter how big, is still zero.

4.     Being a hammer or a nail is not a personality trait. Being a hammer or a nail is a choice; not making a choice is also a choice. Being a hammer or a nail is social not biological. Even if one comes from a long line of dead weights, it is not in the genes, it is the constant and consistent contact with such people that pushes one to similar behaviour. Some people grow up in environments and families where they are not required to take any responsibility. Places where they have been spoon-fed and cuddled. The positive thing is that since being a hammer is social, people have control and are able to make the decision for themselves and this decision does not have a time limit. The earlier the better though, because the older one grows, the more difficult it becomes for one to change their lifestyle. Not because it is impossible but just because people become set in their ways and unwilling to change.

Being a hammer is in your own personal interest.  A hammer will always have the upper hand over the nail. Hammers are leaders and nails are their followers. Hammers will always get first pick and nails are always left with the seconds of hammers.

            It all comes down to self-confidence and self-esteem.  A healthy level of self-confidence and self-esteem fosters the mentality and thought process of a leader. A level of self-love, self-worth and self-respect ensures that one feels confident and comfortable in their own skin. It helps one realize the value of their voice and the fact that they too, have something significant to bring to the table. You can bring something to the table if you do no know you have it. It also helps one recognize that they do not have to make someone else feel less to feel more. This is one of the greatest and most valuable lessons one can learn in life.