To be honest

         To be honest, I think it is the subjectivity of art that often discredits it. As millennials, we like to think that subjectivity means freedom but in actual fact, it really means hierarchy and the race to finish first has already begun. We like to think we live in a world and a time where we are free to think or feel or express ourselves the way we want to and maybe this is somewhat true, but it is also true that we desperately crave validation and approval to some degree from anyone we come in contact with. We secretly hope that the sales advisor at Topshop agrees that the sheer top is not slutty but edgy and we buy coffee from a fancy coffee shop not because we can afford it or because we are coffee connoisseurs, but because it will look cool on Instagram. We do a lot of the things we do for other people, so when we have to talk about a love and a passion for art, it is done in a way that ends up belittling the practice, expertise and magic it takes to be a true artist. Judging by the fact that our little friend Google was ready, on-hand to complete my question when I tried typing in the question “Are artists smart?’, it is safe to say this is an issue burning like wild fire in the minds of today’s youth. I mean I’ll just say this, there would no need to look for these answers if people felt like they had them. In my experience, people look at artsy people the way I look at Nicki Minaj when she “sings.” Like I can’t tell if you are being serious. I know this because whenever I meet someone new and they ask what my deal is, I immediately feel attacked and defensive. I lead with the fact that I am graduating with Honours from the University of Toronto with a Bachelors of Arts in Employment Relations and Sociology in the summer. And then I mention my blog in passing like it is what they assume it to be, just some phase or cute little passion project I do on the side. Then I look in the mirror and justify my actions and reassure myself that this does not mean anything, after all “I am a strong, independent black woman just like Beyoncé, who does not need validation from a random stranger.”

I guess what I am trying to say here is that, I agree that society often belittles and pigeonholes and overlooks the potential and legitimacy of art but it is not without the help of artists themselves. I think that by being unwilling or hesitant to accept your art and share it with the world, you are also saying that art isn't important. You are agreeing with the status quo and the insane, unspoken belief that being good at art is not good enough. And I know the crippling fear that accompanies sharing your art with anyone, I mean art can feel incredibly personal. It is hard enough dealing with your demons and insecurities and second guessing and creative blocks and everything else that comes with being creative, but I listened to a speech that Will Smith gave about how skydiving became cathartic for him and it gave me some perspective. I mean, being an artist is kind of like skydiving except there isn't a parachute in the end, so it is good to know that “God placed the best things in life on the other side of terror.” Because while the subjectivity in art is what makes it comforting, it is also what makes it utterly terrifying. I think more than anything I learned that it is alright to feel absolutely terrified to share your art but what should be more terrifying is the thought of not sharing it at all.

I think artists have become experts at self-sabotage and I think it is time to stop pointing fingers at other people and take responsibility for some of it. The word “utopia” means "a good place" and "no place at all", which makes sense because a lot of artists have a hard time differentiating between “a good place” and “no place at all”. I know this all too well, because in the year before I started my blog, I was writing and I thought I had a decent shot but it was especially blissful because I was the only one reading the pieces so there was no criticism. But as we know, this is a dangerous place because while it is a magical land of unicorns and cotton candy and rainbows, it is a fantasy and fantasies aren't real. A huge part of being an artist is putting yourself out there and get feedback as an artist, because again, this is the beautiful thing about subjectivity, a person only has as much power over you as you give them. Yes, being successful in the arts is hugely dependent on other people’s opinions and it is a  thousand times more difficult than the sciences or business because there is not a clear path but it is doable. I think it is a lot less scary once you realize that putting yourself out there is the first step of taking a gamble on yourself. It is the first thing you can do to show that you are not perfect but you believe in your story and your abilities as an artist. So, do it for you not for anyone else. Being successful in the arts is about being bold enough tell your truth and own it, because you are the only person skilled enough to speak your own truth. This is not to say that, there will not be criticism because speaking the truth is noble and good but not everyone will identify with it and even if they do, not everyone will like the way you have chosen to tell it. No matter how juicy your peach is, there are people who prefer apples and people who don't like fruit at all. I guess this is just one of those stories that do not have a happy ending or maybe it does, like I said, it is all about perspective.