No, not the Instagram phenomenon... I mean literal goals. I mean writing at least one thing, hopefully a couple of things down, and looking at that list every day and taking conscious steps to get closer to where you want to be. And yes, I am talking about goals in February because... to be honest, January was a little touch and go, like it was far from what I wanted it to be. I think January taught me to grow at my own pace and focus on my own journey. Now, obviously I'm not totally healed of the cancer that is comparing myself to other people, but the difference is I am now conscious of the feelings and the people and the situations that lead me to comparing myself to other people. I know I can be quite lazy and I quite often find it difficult to be motivated but I have learned that action often comes before passion and enthusiasm. Thus, I have decided to DO. I have decided to figure out little steps I can take everyday to become comfortable in my own skin. Some days, it is writing on my blog, some days it is applying to a couple of jobs, some days it is Netflix and chilling by my own damn self. So yeah, I'm making to executive decision to disregard the 74 days of January and start again. I am starting again, fully aware of the things and the people that tempt me to make old mistakes. I am starting again knowing myself and my mind a little better. I am starting again, taking back my power from Kim Kardashian and her perfect body.
“Meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters the exact same way.” The first time I heard these words, they were said by American actress Octavia Spencer, when she was delivering the commencement speech to the graduating class of 2017 at Kent State University. However, these words were originally written by a poet called Rudyard Kipling. In his poem “If,” Rudyard Kipling described the qualities that would set a person up for success. Treat triumph and disaster the exact same way. Treat triumph and disaster the exact same way. And the more I thought about it, the clearer it became that the only way to achieve this is by faith.
You see, triumphs and good things are God’s way of reassuring us that there are benefits to serving Him and it is practical to be a Christian. In good times, God gives us jollof rice and chicken and dodo and coleslaw. On the other hand, “disastrous” and trying times are God’s way of showing us that He has given us all we need to flourish. So maybe He doesn’t give you the jolly rice and all, but He gives you the tomatoes and the pepper and maybe you need to ask your neighbour for the onions and buy the live chicken. So maybe you need to chase and blend and cut and stir and boil and fry but the results can be the same. It’s all about perspective. God is there either way, what happens next is up to you. In hard and difficult times, it can be quite hard to see God at work but God being at work is not dependent on your ability to see Him. Faith isn’t waiting on God to show up, faith is going out and doing and expecting God to show up. So in 2018, Do… Lisa Price once said “you don’t have to have every single detail figured out before you venture out and do something.” Lisa Price is the founder of Carol’s Daughter, a line of natural hair products tailored to fit the unique texture of African and African American natural hair. It all started in her kitchen in Fort Greene, Brooklyn, mixing up concoctions, because nothing on the shelves worked for the texture of her hair. Soon enough, people noticed and slowly it turned into a business with real profit and momentum. Still, investors doubted the existence of a niche market and the profitability of the business. Today, every Black girl and her mother and her aunty use Carol’s Daughter products and the company is currently valued at $27 million.
So I agree with African-American actress Isa Rae when she says “there is so much creativity in brokeness.” Yes, money is great… obviously, but the lack of it is no excuse to stay where you are. Network! Maybe you don’t have money but if you meet the right people and you have the right idea, money will come. Yeah, you don’t have money but who is sitting next to you? Chances are your struggles are quite similar, and you can work together or maybe they know someone who you would want to meet, but you won’t know unless you speak to them.
Surround yourself with people who speak positively and who you can depend on keep the faith. When you have a problem, what do your friends say? Do they say “ahh you’re done... It's over” or do they say “so this way didn’t work, have you thought about doing it this way? Or talking to this person?” Surround yourself with solution providers.
Set goals in faith and take steps of faith. You see, I am a master at setting goals. I use different colours. I highlight, I draw little butterflies and hearts and everything. It is the following through that hasn’t been as strong. And then I went through a phase where I didn’t believe in goal setting and New Years resolutions because in my mind, they were setting me up for failure. These are the kinds of things you start to believe when you give your power to other people. So, I would set goals like; I want to work for a good company like KPMG, or Google, or Facebook, all while having no real interest and making no real effort with networking and all the things I should have been doing in addition to getting good grades. So of course, by the middle of the year, I’d adjust my goals, in fact my goals would become prayer points because only God could have worked the kind of magic, the kind of miracle I wanted to happen. And I’d say prayers like “Lord, please give me any job” and just end up settling and feeling like a failure, so what was the point of putting myself through this over and over again? But now I know better, I have learned how to fail better. I know that when you fail, you don’t change your goals, you change your plan or change your attitude. You are supposed to be stubborn with your goals but flexible with your plan. You are supposed to do anything and everything but give up, because that is what changing your plan is. Giving up. Changing your plan is giving up because it is essentially you admitting defeat and you saying that you don’t think you have what it takes to achieve the goals you set out for yourself, which maybe you don’t. But again, this is where I have gotten it wrong in the past and most people do. Most people change their minds and decide to pursue something else when they notice their inadequacy but as a child of God, this is where you should give way for God because He is all sufficient. Giving up is worse when you are child of God because it is not only selling yourself and the power and the magic you possess short, it is also selling your God short. It is an insult to God. One of my biggest fears in life is public speaking, and well… and sharing my thoughts publicly, period… and look, I have done it a couple of times now, and they have gone alright, I think, I hope. If you’ve heard me speak publicly and you hated it, please don’t tell me, I like my version better. My point is the only time when changing your mind about what you want isn’t giving up is when you are moving from your own plan for your life to God’s plan.
In the year 2018, I will do things differently. Starting from now (because let’s not talk about January), I will take specific actions to achieve my goals and to make sure I do everything I can to be the woman I want to be. This year I will do things I am terrified of not because I will no longer be afraid, but because I am confident that God will walk into every room I walk into and be in every conversation I have. In 2018, I will surround myself with good people but at the same time, I will do my best not to compare myself to anyone. I will do my best to embrace my own journey because the best and most successful people are not perfect and they don’t claim to be, they are just willing to grow and adapt and be better versions of themselves. In 2018, I will take back power over my thoughts and actions. In 2018, I will stop letting what people may think, have such a hold on me, because people often don’t know what they think. In 2018, I will treat triumph and disaster, the exact same way because I am confident that God has my back 100% and I hope you will too.
Have an amazing 2018!
No comments:
Post a Comment