IT’S YOUR FAULT!!!

A wise man……or woman once said “the first stage of fixing a mistake or a problem is admitting you are wrong”. This basically summarizes accountability. Accountability can be further described as the act of taking responsibility for something or someone. Accountability does not only count when the outcome of whatever one is responsible for is positive, as a matter of fact it is more important when there is a negative outcome.

Unfortunately, in our society today there is a lack of accountability, and what is worse is the fact that it begins at a very tender age. The society has deemed it acceptable to shift blame or total deny any involvement with the situation in question. A typical example is that of a child who is caught red-handed doing something wrong but still denies it. It may seem hilarious or trivial to the parents but if they don’t correct him, he would think it is acceptable behavior and he will do much worse when he is older. Nowadays, people are too comfortable in their lack of responsibility and this had enabled it to spread across all age groups and social circles.

For example, an eighteen year old in high school applies to an ivy-league university like Columbia University and he does not get accepted. Obviously he will experience a whirlwind of emotions but his first will probably be to blame his college counselor for being ineffective or the university itself for setting their requirements unreasonably high. If he was accountable, he would have blamed himself immediately because in reality, he is the only one to blame. He could have planned earlier and put a strategy in pace, he could have studied more and sacrificed some of his time with friends to research deeper into the admission process of the university amongst a million other things.

The impression in society is that once one grows up, he is automatically more accountable because he is older and hence more mature after having a few life experiences but this is far from reality. A graduate in her mid twenties who goes for an interview looking like a scruffy mess and unable to answer questions without stuttering is obviously not going to secure the job. However when she is does not get a call back, she throws a tantrum and says things like “that job was not right for me” or “I didn’t like those people anyway, they are too snobbish” or “it was just not the right time for me”. Meanwhile, she could just admit that she could have presented herself in a better way. This is a very common problem and it is probably why many people are still unemployed. Do not get me wrong, there are sometimes when the job is not right or the people are snobbish or the time is not right. However, it becomes a problem and an obstacle when people hide behind these assertions to shift blame and not take responsibility for their issues.

In Nigeria for example, when a person cannot seem to secure employment he makes plans to start a business because he has needs to meet, probably not only his. For example, a person in this situation, in his early thirties has started a business and has been running it for a couple of years. If he experiences a few bad business years, he blames the unfavorable economy or his family for putting too much pressure on him or his workers for being incompetent. He blames everyone and everything around him except himself, the obvious cause of the problem. At this age, it is really sad that a person will still lack accountability but it happens more often than you would think. It is probably because he is so used to blaming other people that it never occurs to him to take responsibility for his own problems. Even though this it is very bad if someone is still not accountable at this age, it is still not too late to start being accountable.

I am not sure I can say that for the people who are still not accountable for their actions when they are over 40. This is because if they cannot be accountable for their own actions, then the possibility of them taking responsibility for the actions of their children is very slim. By this time, they have children old enough to do wrong things. Since they themselves are still not accountable, rather than discipline their children, they will blame it on the victims, which doesn't make them witty, it just makes them look like unfit parents.

A man in his fifties who suffers from heart failure is very unlikely to blame his poor eating habits. He is most likely going to blame his “troublesome” wife for nagging him up to the point that he suffers heart failure. This is a pity because most times, it ends up being the wife’s fault, whether it is because she nags a lot or the food she is preparing for him is unhealthy. It is unfortunate for the man because if he has a son, he will grow up and treat his wife the same way. Worse still, if he has a daughter, she will think it is acceptable to be treated that way. 

As a Christian, the story of accountability that comes to mind is the parable of the talents. In the Bible, Jesus told the parable of the talents where he summoned three men, he gave one five, the second own two and the last one talent. After a period of time, he summoned the three men again to give accounts to him of what they had done with their talents. The first and second men had used their talents effectively, so they were given double of what they already had but the last man buried his own talent, so it was taken from him and he was punished accordingly.

We need to start taking responsibility for our actions and what happens in our lives. After all our lives are our own and no one else has power to control it, except of course we give it to them. So the next time something unpleasant happens to you, PAUSE….and reflect before blaming someone else because chances are …. IT’S YOUR FAULT!!!!!