Mirror mirror on the wall...

            

            The story of snow white and the seven dwarfs is one of the most famous in the history of Disney. Even though it has the typical Disney fairy tale ending, where a girl in distress is saved by her knight in shining armour, there are many life lessons to be learned. There are many significant motifs and symbols but the magic mirror as a symbol is a detail that always sticks out in my mind.

            According to the story, the evil queen woke up every morning to ask her magic mirror “Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” and every time for seven years it answered “You, you my queen, you are the fairest of them all”. I think it is important to state that there is nothing wrong with wanting the approval of those around you; it only becomes an obstacle when you begin to depend on it. The situation with the evil queen and her magic mirror has more things wrong with it than Rihanna outfit to the Grammys but I will stick to the two major ones.

(1) Physical beauty is important, but not half as important as inner beauty.

First, let me establish that beauty is by definition, gender neutral. Now that that is out of the way, we can move on to more important details. It is wise to state that physical beauty fades but inner beauty brightens. Therefore, it is counterintuitive to focus on physical beauty and neglect inner beauty. Physical beauty is a positive externality of inner beauty. Put simply, physical beauty is a positive by-product of inner beauty. It is not logical to focus on your physical beauty because the truth is no matter how beautiful you think you are, you will always be ugly to someone. Physical beauty is subjective but inner beauty is objective. Beauty is becoming less and less about how you look. Even beauty pageants are increasingly becoming interested in the beauty of the mind and not just the beauty of the body. For the first time, a model with Down’s syndrome was allowed to walk a show during the New York Fashion Week. In Toronto, Winnie Harlow, a fast rising model has scored major endorsements, walked several shows and she also suffers from what is commonly known as vitiligo. Vitiligo is a chronic skin disease characterised by portions of skin losing their pigment. It is safe to say that if being beautiful is just about the way you look, then neither of these girls would have a fighting chance.

(2) Be your own mirror

It always starts with you. Start by pointing out things about yourself that you do not like and figure out a step-by-step plan to fix them. It is just as important to point out things you do like; it is not vanity until it becomes vanity. Being proud of your accomplishments is perfectly normal and even encouraged.

            Depending on another person for validation and approval is like sitting on a bomb unaware of how much time you have before the timer goes off. Yeah, this is very dangerous because your happiness is dependent on another person’s mood. You become a literal parasite; a leech on an organism that could crap out at any moment. You are neither helping yourself nor the person and what’s worse is if neither of you realise the gravity of the situation because you cannot fix something you don’t know is broken. You should be strong-willed and honest enough to tell yourself the truth.

            Being reflective is a skill that is characterized by quiet thought and contemplation and it is relevant, important and significant for every stage of life. The value of reflection is best taught very early in life. Naughty corners are the perfect place for a younger child to reflect on their actions, it worked for me when I was in nursery school. According to child psychologist and expert Jo Frost, a child has to be told what he or she did wrong for the exercise to be maximally effective, if not they will just throw a tantrum and in the end nothing is achieved. The naughty corner is extremely effective because during that time, a child is typically deprived of any entertainment and attention, so there is no choice but to reflect. After a few minutes the child becomes remorseful and apologetic. If at such a young age, being reflective is so valuable, how much more later on in life. Reflection is like a combo deal at McDonalds, it comes with honesty, integrity, respect, maturity and better communication skills.

            Most people who have reached higher levels of maturity and education have figured out what kind of behaviour is acceptable and what kind of behaviour is not. At a certain stage, a child is now mature enough to be responsible for their academic career. So what is paramount is the developing the ability to reflect on their academic path through metacognition. Metacognition, yeah pulling out the big guns, it means higher-order thinking that enables understanding, analysis and control of one’s cognitive processes, especially when engaged in learning. So for normal people like me, metacognition means learning how you learn, figuring out what works and sticking to it. The process of understanding the way you learn is catalyzed by a foundation of being reflective. Trying different methods and evaluating one’s self, based on the results is an extremely effective method. When one has completed their years of formal education, they will be faced with problems that they cannot solve by just being able to read a textbook. In real-life situations, one will be required to apply all the knowledge they have acquired over the years. This, this is the stage where being reflective really pays off.

            Being reflective is not an option in the society we live in because the world is not as forgiving as a parent or your kindergarten teacher; you only get so many chances to get it right. Therefore being able to evaluate yourself, learn from your mistakes and figure out what works best in record time is an invaluable skill that is essential for success. Being reflective means being able to think about your strengths and weaknesses in a constructive manner.

            Carrie Bradshaw once said; “the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself”. Having a meaningful and effective relationship with yourself should always come first. It enables you to realize your worth as a person, and once you do that, you take the authority and power back and you are now in control. When you value your own opinion, no other opinion can hurt, because a lion is never scared of a dog’s bark. So, strive to the best version of you possible because it will give you confidence and stop you from turning to other people for comfort. When you are confident and comfortable in who you are as a person, you stop asking empty questions like “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”