For every excuse... A better strategy

            Firstly, let’s establish that there is no excuse for making excuses. For every excuse, there is a better strategy. Excuses are your mind’s way of validating your choice to procrastinate or worse, not do what you have to do at all. Most often, excuses are born out of utter and sheer laziness.

            For example, as a student, if you do not get the grades you want, it is very much your own fault. There are most likely resources that are available to you that you are ignoring. Most often, your mind tells you…the professor is boring, the teaching assistants are unapproachable, and you do not have the time to go to office hours. I think giving excuses has the potential to very quickly becomes a habit, and it becomes addictive, which makes it that much more difficult to break. Even worse when it has been left unchanged for a significant amount of time.

If you are like me, you have a PhD in excuses when it comes to getting a work out in, at the gym.  I mean if you have thought about it, I have probably used it. I have used every excuse in the book and a few more. Cardio is not for me, I will work out five times a week and by Wednesday, there is no way that’s possible, so I’ll just start next week. Sometimes, I will put a fitted outfit on and because it looks decent, I’ll convince myself that my working out will mean that I am aiming for an unattainable weight and I am only doing it to fit into what society wants me to look like. Excuse after excuse after excuse. When in actually fact, I do want to look good and feel comfortable in my own skin. When I wear certain outfits, I feel insecure and uncomfortable and that’s a thing for me and I should deal with that but I find scenarios that just validate my laziness and do nothing for me. I am a proud feminist, so make no mistake, I am against a woman working out for any other reason than to stay healthy for herself or look good for herself or be the version of herself she wants to be. This is what makes it so wrong, for me to pretend and hide behind these reasons, when they are a lie for me and there are women out there who struggle with their weight and feel pressure to look a certain way. It is disrespectful to them on every level.

It may not be about working out, but so far you admit that it is an excuse, and I know that you know, the difference between excuses and legitimate reasons, STOP. Mason Cooley once said, “Excuses change nothing, but make everyone feel better”. This is exactly why excuses are counterintuitive. Most people know what they need to do to make progress but instead they pull out all the excuses they can. The work does not go away, it just piles up. The energy you use to make up excuses could be channelled towards the accomplishment of the initial goal.

Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else”. I love this quote because it makes a whole world of sense. If one is always making excuses, he never gets anything done. Therefore, it is physically impossible for him to be good at anything else. I say this because, for a person to become good at something, they have to do it over and over again, always maintaining a high level of consistency. A person who gives excuses can barely be called a beginner, and because they have not put in any form of effort, they have no prospects of ever becoming an expert. So in essence, I think what this quote is really saying is that, a person who spends all their time giving excuses has no time for anything else.

Here are a few ways I think one can avoid the pitfalls of giving excuses.

(1)  Set SMART goals

SMART is an acronym that represents Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-Based. Goals are very important and are one of the few trends that are present in almost every success story.

Specific – Be as detailed as possible, if not you will find it difficult to recognize the finish line. If you do not know what you want, you are running towards a destination that does not exist.

Measurable – Set an effective method of evaluating and assessing your journey. Knowing if a goal is obtainable and how one compares to the competition is extremely valuable. A measurable goal is one that you know for sure when it has been achieved.

Attainable – Figure out if there are ways that you can achieve the goal you have in mind. If there are no ways in place already, figure out if there are ways you can try and if the risk is worth taking. Develop the attitudes and skills and abilities you need to reach them. A goal is the vision, making it attainable is the mission.

Realistic – At this point, it is important to distinguish between a dream and a goal. A dream, on the surface, seems unattainable and unrealistic. Goals on the other hand, should seem doable. A goal or a couple of goals are what lead to the accomplishment of a dream. A dream is more long-term than a goal. A dream is a destination; goals are hurdles and obstacles in the way of reaching that destination.

Time-sensitive – Effective and efficient goals are time-sensitive, they have a specific time frame, a time when specific tasks should be accomplished. Working with time, and being sensitive to the time element of things instils a sense of purpose and urgency and eventually leads to optimal results.

(2)  Prioritize

Prioritizing involves arranging tasks in order of importance and working in such a way that the most important tasks get accomplished first. I find that prioritizing has a diminished marginal utility effect. This means that after it works for the first task, we find it more and more difficult to stick to the schedule and follow through with the seventh and eighth and sixteenth task. In cases like this, most people are missing an essential part of prioritizing, which is arranging set tasks in chronological order and setting mini goals.

(3)  Set mini goals

Setting mini goals is just as important as setting the goals themselves. Breaking bigger goals into smaller pieces makes the accomplishment of the major goals not such a daunting task. Also, I find that setting mini goals also keeps the major goal in focus. It keeps one aware of all the things that they have to do to successfully accomplish the goal. This is important because, goals often look easier to accomplish than they really are but when we are aware of the work and effort needed, we are more likely to stay focused and consistent.

(4)  Balance is everything

The accomplishment of school or work related goals are extremely important as we have so obviously pointed out but making time for the other facets of life are equally as important. Family and friends, rest and relaxation and personal time is significant. The clarity and the focus that comes with a well-rested mind cannot be traded for anything else. Talking to people also opens up the mind to new possibilities, different perspectives and new ways of accomplishing the goals that one has set.

(5)  Be your own mirror but have other mirrors as well

It is important to be reflective as well. When you get a result or an outcome that is not a good as you wanted, take a minute to reflect and realize the things you can do differently and the options that you are yet to explore. Be truthful and honest and accountable. Be strong enough to tell yourself the truth because it is one of the most significant things we as humans have, and that is totally in our control. You are the big mirror on the dresser, but you also need two other smaller mirrors on each side. Smaller mirrors that believe in your vision and see you the way you are, because you cannot push something you do not see. You only need a few because too many cooks spoil the broth. But you do need those few, to keep you in check, besides if you have other people pushing you; the tolerance for excuses is greatly reduced. They will not let you get off as easy as you will yourself. Another significant fact is that they are smaller mirrors, so ultimately the ball is in your court. They are not there to give you goals and a vision; they are there to help you accomplish your own vision and your own goals. The other mirrors are there to help you be consistent with your mission and the effort and hard work and diligence that it demands.

Hopefully, by now, you understand my perspective and may be it does not apply to you right this second, but you never know when you will catch yourself slipping. For those who it applies to right now, remember that there are grave consequences and there is always a better strategy. Carlos Santana once said “most people do not have that willingness to break bad habits, they have a lot of excuses and they talk like victims”. Stop being your own victim and do whatever it is that you know you need to do. Remember, making excuses is like sitting in an open cage.