Dear
September,
This is the one where I tell you
that it’s okay to be crazy… Enjoy!
An author called R.M. Drake once said…
“Love yourself… Then love other
people
Trust yourself… Then trust other
people
Be kind to yourself…
Be good to yourself”
I think
this quote is relevant and real and meaningful. I think this is a bold
statement and a courageous way to start a necessary conversation. Drake dares
to tell his audience to be self-confident and trust their own journey. I think
this is particularly courageous because we live in a society that claims to
embrace individuality and innovation and creativity. However, when a person
does something in a way that is new or unconventional, society is quick to
criticize and use words like “weird” or “quirky”. This is until they become
successful, after which they become the best thing since sliced bread.
We are a society that neglects
the process. We are a purely results-driven people. This is a crying shame
because the process is the most important part. It is during the process that
you have an actual chance to discover who you are as an individual. The process
also allows you to have an honest and raw and true appreciation for the results.
Success is sweetest after you have tasted failure.
I think
this quote assures us that “normal”, whatever that is, is very much overrated
and “weird” and “quirky” is good. This quote encourages us to create our own
version of “normal”. It persuades us to put ourselves first and realise that we
are the captains of our own ships. It reminds us that there is no box and the
only limits are the ones you create. In other words, you can literally do
whatever the hell you want.
Giving
another person the power to determine your next move or the next course of your
journey would be doing a huge disservice to you as a person. D.M. Dellinger
once said “You are unrepeatable… there is a magic about you that is all your
own”. Looking to others for validation and appreciation implies that you do not
believe you are a capable human being. It ignores the magic you possess, the
very one that Dellinger speaks of in this quote. When you constantly look for
approval and acceptance and validation from other people, they become entitled
and begin to think they have the right to an opinion on every decision you
make. What’s worse is that you can’t blame them because you have given them
that power.
Success and
true happiness require selfishness. The ones who survive and thrive in society
today are the ones who realize early enough that selfishness is perfectly fine
and sometimes, necessary. I do not think this is to say that you should only do
what’s best for you. On the contrary, I think this is to say that when a
situation arises in which you choose yourself, it is perfectly fine. You
shouldn’t be made to feel guilty or feel like you need to explain your self,
because sweetheart, you don’t. What’s weird and ironic is, putting yourself
first can sometimes feel like a sacrifice, but it is absolutely necessary.
I think the
need for validation and immediate recognition is triggered almost solely by;
social media. The inception of social media has caused an identity crisis and a
shift in our core values. If I tweet someone and they do not reply me in two
minutes, they are rude and inconsiderate. Or if I post a picture on Instagram,
I begin to question my “coolness” when it only gets 5 likes in 2 hours. People have
lost sight of what is truly important. People are living their lives for other
people and slowing forgetting what makes them who they are.
I mean sure we are human, and
validation from society is nice, but it should be the icing not the cake. Social
media should be light-hearted and fun not a platform for interrogation. If you
feel like you need to be someone else other exactly who you are on social
media, take a break and re-assess. Also, remember social media is not an
accurate reflection of someone’s life. It is a condensed, edited, filtered, pre-meditated,
minute part of their life. So, you see… comparing your real life to a person’s
Instagram is stupid, not to mention, a colossal waste of your time and energy.
Technology
has given people easy access to other people’s lives,, to where they now think
they have the right to have an opinion on everything and everyone. People should
focus and invest all the time they have into making their own lives better. It
is time for people to take risks. TRY. DO. GO FOR IT. The worst thing that can
happen is failure and even that is not so bad. Failure is only bad when it
leads to fear or it leads you to doubt the magic you possess. Fear is only bad
if you let it fester because when it festers, it cripples.
Trust your dopeness, stay in
your own lane, believe that you have or you can get everything you need to live
a life you are content with. Do not take advice from any Tom, Dick and Harry
that offers it. Do not be idle, be focused and take advantage of every
opportunity you get. Hold yourself to a high standard, push yourself, never
settle for less than you know you can achieve. Look for new ways to motivate
yourself, never give excuses and take pride in and responsibility for the work
that you do. If you work to ensure that today, you are at least better than you
were yesterday, and closer to where you want to be, you will not need motivation or validation from anybody
else. THIS IS NOT ARROGANCE, IT IS SELF-CONFIDENCE and it is an extremely
necessary and attractive quality.
Here are a
few tips that I am confident will be helpful…
Read - Like, know your shit!… There
is just no way around this. Do as much research as you can. It does not inhibit
your creativity to study the way other people have done what you want to do. At
the very least, it prevents you from making the same mistakes. Plus, everyone
is free to interpret things the way they will and make things their own; but there
are fundamental principles that guide every phenomenon. It is important to
remember that we live in a ruthless, unforgiving society so there are a
thousand people waiting for your plan to fall flat on its face. This is not for you
to feel an unnecessary level of pressure to impress people; if anything I think
it is a push to strive for excellence. You owe yourself that much.
Have a plan – Have a flexible plan, but a
plan nonetheless. Having a plan is like having a sketch, an outline. A plan
allows you to focus on something, it allows you to aspire to something. A plan
helps you to quickly identify when a person’s input is not in line with your
vision, as opposed to realizing later and having to start all over. A plan
saves time and effort. A plan establishes a means of measuring success. A plan
ensures that you are doing something everyday to guarantee that your overall
goal is achieved. Having a plan helps anticipate problems and possible
solutions for them. Having a plan ensures that you learn from your mistakes and
move on. Effective plans are simple and easy enough to articulate. Effective plans also have timelines, so there is no time for self-pity or
licking wounds. Plans foster resilience, an incredible and invaluable quality.
I think it would be stupid and
naïve to think that you achieve success by yourself but I also think that part
of the story is talked about enough. We are all constantly reminded of the
importance of building a network around us, of people who are able and
like-minded. The network of people I speak of is not one in which you leach and
parasite. It is one that allows your individual potential and determination to
be noticed by the right people. But this network can only be helpful when you
are able harness your potential and be determined to be the best version of
yourself you can be. A place you can only get to if you are willing to make
yourself a priority and really focus on discovering who you are, what your
passion is and what truly makes you happy. Remember, it’s the people who are
crazy enough to dream and believe that the magic they possess as individuals is
enough, that are able to make these dreams come true…
THE END
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