Dear September,
This
is the one where I tell you that it is cooler to be stylish than it is to be
fashionable. Ralph Lauren once said, “Style is personal, it has nothing to do
with fashion.” I think this is a very important assertion, especially in the
context of today’s society. A society that either uses both words
interchangeably or puts pressure on women to be fashionable.
I
think at this point, it is very important to distinguish between style and
fashion and to assert my interpretation of Mr. Lauren’s words. In my opinion, a
person’s style is more than what they wear or how they appear. A person’s style
is who a person is and how they choose to do life, the choices they make and
the magic that makes them unique and inimitable. Fashion on the other hand,
refers to trends that are socially acceptable and widely recognized ways of
dressing. Having style helps you realize that the happiest people are not the
people that have the most in life but the people that make the most of what they
have.
Right
away, the biggest difference I see between the two is that fashion requires
society’s permission and approval and validation but style does not. Now do not
misunderstand me, it is not bad to follow people but you have to be aware of
the magic that is you, it would be a crying shame not to harness it. While it
is definitely easier to follow the crowd and what sets you apart can often feel
like a burden, it’s not, it’s actually what makes you great.
Laurel
Thatcher Ulrich once said “well-behaved women seldom make history.” I think
that this quote is extremely important because it focuses on women. This is
significant because we live in a society that is inherently critical of women
in every way possible. The society we live in is built for men to thrive and for
women to barely exist.
Popular culture
looks to women to be the moral compasses and the voices of reasoning. Women
unconsciously look to men and other women for permission and approval to be who
they are. It is so horrible that women are becoming even more judgmental of one
another when the world is already so judgmental of us; it is an unnecessary
burden at best. This quote represents a successful woman giving other women
permission to colour outside the lines.
Exploring your
creativity and individuality, especially for a woman, fosters the development
of other character building traits, some of which I will now discuss. It
fosters self-confidence, perspective, courage, resilience and authenticity.
Self-Confidence.
Being
allowed to explore one’s creativity without judgment builds one’s
self-confidence. Having style requires self-confidence and fosters it as well. Being
self-confident is having a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and
judgment. Women, especially have an inherent unbeatable instinct and intuition
that a lot of times they doubt. Self-confidence is not arrogance or cockiness,
it is not an “I am flawless and perfect” mentality, rather it is an “I am not
perfect but I am enough” mentality. Being sure of who you are prevents
comparison, which as you know is the thief of joy.
This can
extremely difficult when popular culture fosters this image and ideal of beauty
that is biased, one-dimensional, non-complex, white, skinny and blonde, young
girl. An ideal that is untrue for most women including those who portray it and
what’s worse, it forces many women to question themselves and their own beauty.
The fact that the beauty of beauty is that is multi-faceted, multi-layered and
complex is belittled and ignored.
Perspective
Perspective is
everything in life. Style is delicately personal;, in that it is about
embracing what you feel makes you feel the most comfortable not what makes you
look the best. Perspective affords you all the power and as long you keep it,
you keep all the power. In that no one can make you feel less than unless you
give them the power to. Style is not an
“I hope they like me,” mentality it is an “I’ll be fine if they don’t” choice.
To be stylish,
you need to be sure of yourself and what you want out of life. True style and beauty
is never skin deep, true style and beauty is in the character and wisdom that
comes with stretch marks, wrinkles, scars, freckles and grey hair. Perspective
allows you to accept that life is a battlefield and no one who fights leaves
the battlefield unscathed.
Perspective
allows you to wear your wrinkles, scars and stretch marks like badges of honour
and not shame. Perspective helps your grey hair be proof of good living and not
stress highlights. Having perspective also allows you to be more open to and
aware of the fact that other people are entitled to their own perspectives and
opinions. This inevitably allows you to spend more time doing what actually
makes you happy and less time trying to defend your actions and choices to
other people.
Ok, September,
babe I think I should stop the ramble here for now, just so you don’t fall
asleep on me. You should just know that it is cooler to be stylish because
having style never goes out of style…
All
my love,
Nini
x
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