When life gives you lemons, give them back!!!!

Most people have heard the popular saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”, it seems extremely noble at first glance, but if we look closer we realize all its other potential interpretations and it is actually not as inspirational as it seems. Before I further analyze this saying, it is important to know the surface meaning, which is that when one is faced with a sour experience, a bad experience (could be a bad grade or the loss of a loved one), one should learn from such experiences. It encourages people to make the best out of the situation and not focus on the negative aspects of it.

I say “when life gives you lemons, give them back”. One of the things that I find fallacious about this saying is the fact that it gives people the impression that they have no option but to take the lemons. This is never the case, there is always a way out. I was watching a television show called “Scandal” recently, and Olivia Pope, the main character said something that resonated with me. She said when someone holds a gun to your head, you do not panic and you never give them what they want, you laugh and take the gun from them. Even if you are caught in the between the devil and the deep blue sea, the shore is probably not as far you think plus when there’s danger, you produce enough adrenaline to escape. Another option is to get acquainted with the “devil”, we are always advised to keep our friends close and our enemies closer, besides the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know. 

What most people fail to realize is that you only have as many options as you give yourself. One is never out of options, if the option is not readily available to you, make it an option by yourself. Only you have the power and authority to decide what happens next. The lack or the failure to come to this realization is what makes most people fall into one or more of the following groups of people;

1) Some people are just really LAZY!

    - A lot of people are really lazy in general, but what’s worse is that some people are diligent and committed but to the wrong cause. Some people are so lazy that even when life gives them lemons they are either too lazy to take them or they take them but they want the lemonade to be made for them. The people who are too lazy to take the lemons, end up with nothing. While the people too lazy to make the lemonade, end up complaining about the whatever is eventually made available to them. They end up settling for whatever they are given in the end, because they are still too lazy to look for alternative methods. This is one of the worst groups to belong to, being lazy in this society is almost deadly. Laziness is a catalyst for stagnation and lack of progress. A lazy person does not get crumbs from the master, he gets the crumbs from the dog. So, take it from me, laziness is not an option!

2) Some people are satisfied just being MEDIOCRE!

     - This is a lot worse than being lazy in the opinion. For me to be able to effectively explain this group of people, it is important to clearly explain what mediocrity is. The word “mediocre” is the characteristic of moderate or low quality, neither good nor bad, barely adequate. This group of people put in just enough effort to accomplish a task. They are satisfied with the outcome, as long as they have not failed. Not aiming to do exceptionally, is aiming to fail. Failure to plan, is planning to fail. It is horrible to be mediocre because it is stagnant, a person neither moves up nor down.  Many people are unaware of their mediocre status, they believe that once they are not failing then they are in the clear because as we know, ignorance is bliss. Many people who are aware in the mediocre, often disguise it under the beliefs in karma and they believe that whatever they are given is what they deserve which is never the case. When one fails, they feel discouraged and angry enough to put in extra effort but with a mediocre, he has not failed so there is nothing to be sad about and therefore, nothing to motivate him and nothing to aspire to. A mediocre is in limbo, he has no goals or aspirations. Some people just take the lemons that life gives them and think to themselves “at least its better than nothing” and its not in an optimistic context. They react that way because they are satisfied, fully satisfied with their status quo. Mediocrity is not just a disease and its an epidemic.

3) Some people are extremely SHORT-SIGHTED!

    - Being short-sighted is not a quality that anyone who wants to be successful can afford to possess. It is a termite and a canker worm. It is a silent killer because a lot of people do not know that they are short-sighted, they see their nature as calm and being satisfied with what they have, others see it as routine and doing things a certain way so as to achieve a certain outcome. People who are short-sighted refer to themselves as the “go with the flow” and “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of person. In my opinion, this is just sugar coating their flaws instead of dealing with them. Being short-sighted short changes destinies. If one’s purpose in life is to be on Broadway but he can only see himself as a Nollywood extra, then he would not be equip himself physically or psychologically for Broadway. Until he sees his potential to be on Broadway, he may not take his present career seriously and as such he will never be noticed by the people who could have taken him to the next level of his career. Some people when given lemons, do not even think to make lemonade rather they make lemon-meringue pie or face mask (if you are a girl!). They cannot see their life beyond a certain point, they do not have enough confidence in themselves to want greater or ask for more. They often call it a “calm nature” but to survive in this dog-eat-dog society, one has to adjust and adapt their nature to suit the needs of this society. Adapting or adjusting your character is not changing who you are or compromising your values, it is being aware of your surroundings and working to remain valid and relevant in it. Everyone is competitive and everyone is a go-getter, so it will pay you to join the race and stop finding excuses and distracting yourself from the finish line.

4) Some people are extremely PASSIVE!

    - These group of people are the people who are passengers on their own journey through life. Someone else is driving their bus. In this group, when thy are given lemons in life, they do not even bother to see if the lemons are viable, they just take them. Either because they are too lazy to speak up or they do not care enough or they are just so used to “going with the flow” that they are not really aware of their own surroundings. These group of people are seriously lacking self-confidence, which is what triggers their lack of active participation in their own lives. They do not think they are good enough to be seen and significant. They do not believe that their voice is important or they have anything to offer. They do not realize that one cannot sell a product he does not believe in. They have created a glass ceiling for themselves and this is horrible because a self0inflicted restriction is more potent than a society-inflicted barrier. Most times, these people have been this way for as long as they can remember, therefore it is almost a part of their character. Some people in this group , hide under the fact that they are afraid of confrontation to camouflage the deeper issue of lack of self confidence or worse, an inferiority complex. 

5) THE RIGHT GROUP!

     - This is the group of people we should all strive to belong to. This is the group of people that realize that one does not have to accept lemons, when life offers them. This is the least populated group probably due to the fact that a lot of people are not even aware of its existence. This is the group of people that have clear and concise written goals for the future and are willing to work hard enough to achieve them These are the people that do not leave their lives to fate, chance or destiny, which is not to say that these things are irrelevant, it is just to say that an over dependence and reliance on them should be strictly discouraged. it is acceptable to believe in chance, destiny and fate, what is unacceptable is to fold your arms and leave your decisions to be resigned to fate and destiny and chance because as strong as they are, they need to be guided as well.  There are many ways to give back the lemon:

• Be resilient! - when something bad or unpleasant happens, your first instinct should not be to cry or wallow in self pity. It should be to get back up and look for a way to deal with the situation, and not to find the nearest means of escape.
• Be focused - when one is focused on the finish line in a marathon, no distractions can get in the way. An obstacle is just another object, it only becomes an obstacle when you pay attention to it. It is very important to know that nothing can have a significant impact on you unless you give it the power. For example, if you are running a marathon and you happen to come across a strange looking animal on the road and you slow your pace to take a closer look, chances are it is still going to be the same thing it was before you passed by but by slowing down, you have enabled your competitors to overtake you and you have lost time in the race. 
• Be perseverant - after you give back the lemons, you may have nothing for a while but if you continue to focus on the big picture, then you will be able to withstand the pressure. Perseverance is a monumental aspect of being successful in life. It is very easy to feel discouraged and fed up, but it is important to know that there is always a reward for being perseverant

Ask yourself what group or groups you belong to and then from there you can begin to work on yourself. I admit that being in a bad situation can seem like the worst thing that could happen at that point in time but there is always someone who has it worse and a situation is only as unfixable and horrible as you make it. Make a conscious effort to change your perspective on problems and how to go about solving them. When next you are faced with a difficult situation, do not manage or endure it, overcome it. Always remember, that there are multiple solutions to every problem and the fact that you cannot see them does not mean they are not there. When life gives you lemons, give them back!

Knowledge is P.O.W.E.R

The saying "knowledge is power" is one of the most popular but it has different meanings to different people. Knowledge according to the Oxford dictionary refers to facts, information and skills acquired through education and/or experience; the theoretical or practical understanding of a subject. From this definition, it can be deduced that knowledge is an extremely broad and unlimited concept. From this extensive definition of knowledge, a few phrases stand out in my mind. The first is 'facts, information and skills' which are all different stages of the same data. Facts are the purest form of data. Information is processed data i.e it is likely to be slightly different from it's original form, which highlights that some knowledge is positive, others are normative. Skills are gained through information, they are like a tertiary form of data. One cannot be skilled in a field without having a deep rooted level of knowledge in that field. Another phrase that stands out in my mind is 'education and/or experience'. This is particularly important because most people do not separate both in their minds and this can lead to confusion consequently. The main difference between the two is the level of rigidity and how formal they are. Education is very rigid and can be categorized as formal knowledge. This is because it is tested and proven and can be taught. Experience on the other hand is less rigid and more informal. It cannot be tested because it is different for everyone. This difference is what causes different opinions.
Like I said, the saying 'knowledge is power' can be interpreted in many different ways but this is the way I see it.
(1) Knowledge is literally Power!
     -  Knowledge can be power, not physical power but intellectual power. In a situation where one knows something another person doesn't, the one who knows has the power to control that situation. This kind of power is highlighted in careers like law and business. In law, if the defence knows something that the plaintiff does not, then they can use it as evidence or as support for evidence in the courtroom. Such power is also useful in business-related careers because of competition. If a business has access to information, it gives them the upper hand over their competition.
(2) Knowledge is never Overrated!
     - It is not possible for one to have too much knowledge, there is always more to be learned. There are too many calamities that can easily be avoided if people are more knowledgeable. For example, we are all now aware of the presence do the Ebola virus. We are also aware that a couple of people have died from it but what is sadder is that some of these people did not die from the virus itself, they died from using salt to attempt to cure it. If these people had access to the information they needed about the virus, they would not have gone through such doomed and futile measures to try and eradicate it. Also, many people on rural communities die on a daily basis due to lack of clean water and clean food. This can be avoided if the government and other individuals in authority could inform these people of the dangers of their actions and provide solutions to the problems they face.
(3) Knowledge is never Wasted!
     - It is never a waste to know something, it may not be useful for many years but it will be useful someday. What you know may not even be beneficial to you, that does not make it useless or without value. In fact, adding value to someone else is more honorable than adding value to yourself. Knowing is always always better than not knowing.
(4) Knowledge is the Essence of our Existence as human beings
     - The earlier we realize that gaining knowledge is our primary aim and purpose, the earlier we can start the journey to fulfilling purpose in life
   - According to my faith as a Christian, God created us humans to dominate the earth, the air and the sea. To 'dominate' means to have a commanding influence on. Deductively, in order for one to dominate, one has to have an answer to every statement of the thing he is dominant over. For that to happen, one has to know his subject inside out, strengths and weaknesses, opportunities and threats. In other words, God was passively instructing us to be knowledgeable about everything in our environment. Our strength and dominance over the earth is dependent on our knowledge of it.
    - Inventors understand this principle extensively. Most inventors were and are willing to die in their pursuit of their invention. They also realize that knowledge is a gradual process. They do not discover their invention after one try or overnight. They were willing to work hard at it and become more and more knowledgeable. They were willing to learn from every failure.
There is a popular saying that implies that the end of knowledge is the end of life.
(5) Knowledge is Reliable and Resilient!
     - The word "reliable" means consistently good in quality or performance; able to be trusted. Knowledge is reliable because once you know something, no can take it away from you. This is especially true, when the knowledge is gained through education or first-hand experience. Your knowledge can be shared with other people but it cannot be lost or taken away from you.
     - The word "resilient" refers to the ability of a person to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions. Knowledge itself does not possess this quality but one who possesses knowledge possesses resilience. Resilience comes with knowledge especially when it is gained through personal experience. If one makes a mistake, they are less likely to make this mistake again and as such, they are more knowledgeable about that situation. In the world of business, knowledge makes one resilient. For example, if a company makes a decision that turns sour, then they can learn from it and do better if given the opportunity again. Other companies are more susceptible to making that decision and as such, the company that has made the decision has an advantage.
So, as you can see, knowledge is indeed power. As much as, this seems easy enough to understand, everyone could use some help in the "doing" part, so here's some.

5 simple-ish steps to becoming more knowledgeable;
(1) Learn something new everyday - I find it very cliche to suggest reading a book or watching less reality television. This is because, as much as these seem like brilliant ideas, no one ever gets around to doing them. Learning something new could be a new country or a healthier way of frying an egg or saying "hello" in another language, the importance is that you are learning.

(2) Share whatever you learn with other people - The best way to retain knowledge is to use it over and over again. Knowledge is great and should be shared. While noting this, it is also important to remember to not share information you have learned in a condescending or disrespectful manner because that defeats the purpose.

(3) Surround yourself with people who make you more knowledgeable - If you are the only person in your circle of friends who is motivated to learn, then sooner than later you would lose enthusiasm. Find a balance; obviously no one wants friends who only want to talk about political or socio-economic issues but you also want to talk art, music, fashion, movies and more "not-so-serious" topics. This way knowledge is more well-rounded and balanced.

(4) Challenge yourself, push the envelope! - Never be satisfied with your present level of knowledge. Be eager to learn more about everything. There are too many things to learn more about. You can start with a new word everyday, or a word in a different language. Then gradually, you can proceed to learning short poems. Then eventually after a certain level of comfort has been reached, one can then read a book ( yes, I remember saying this was cliche about two minutes ago 😜). Sometimes one needs a little bit of cliche, because even though it's predictable, at least you know for certain that it works. Cliches are an example of knowledge that has been converted from experience to education, informal to formal.

(5) Be open-minded about knowledge! - It is important to recognize that knowledge can be gotten from any and every source. Knowledge from a toddler is not any less valuable than knowledge from a professor. For example, an allergic reaction or a sharp cry from a toddler can save his or her life while the knowledge a professor passes to his students can be what separates an engineer from a mechanic in the local auto shop, and a doctor from the hospital janitor.
 Never think of yourself as more knowledgeable than someone else. While a rich man may know where to place the knife and fork on a table, I'd've more knowledgeable about wine and art and music, a beggar knows more about survival and improvisation and perseverance.
Even a simple is worth a thousand words (and since those words are different in every mind,and only the picture knows what it's really saying, it is more powerful than the person looking at it).

Antique or just plain old skool!

The word “antique” is defined by the Oxford dictionary as a collectible object such as a piece of furniture or work of art that has a high value because of its age and quality. For example, Paul Cezanne’s “The Card Players”, valued at $273 million or Picasso’s “Le Réve”, valued at $155 million. The value of these paintings is not particularly in the art but more in the years that have passed since it was made and the effort and the funds that have gone into preserving it and keeping it as authentic as possible. The people who are willing to pay such huge sums of money for them understand their value.

The term “old-school” describes a behavior and mindset typical of an earlier style or form; based on a way of doing things that was common in the past according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. This term is very broad and general; it does not refer to one thing in particular, it is not limited to a choice, it is a culture and mindset. For example, the afro hairstyle gained its fame in the earlier days and although it is still around, the original style is not as popular as it used to be. Most ideas that gained exposure in the earlier days are still present but they have been adapted, so as to remain relevant. The majority have been adapted because the original version is not as suitable or appropriate, while others have been adapted because of laziness or to justify whatever decision they make.

The main difference between antique and old school is their difference in value. Both are derived from earlier days, but an antique increases in value as time passes by, however, elements of the old school movement lose their value with time. It is important to know this difference because society today has confused these two concepts. Grandmothers may not be “cool” (well, at least for everyone except me) but either way, they are respected and considered wise and knowledgeable. To further explain the differences between old school and antique, I have decided to divide the bronchus into four bronchioles.

1.       Discipline

In today’s society, discipline is a very sensitive subject and it needs to be treated with as much care and wisdom as possible. The word “discipline’ is defined as the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior; using punishment to correct disobedience. In the earlier days, children were often taught that the older person was always right and as such any disagreement from a child warranted punishment. Nowadays, discipline has improved but also deteriorated. It has improved in the sense that parents and people in authority over children now see the importance of talking to a child. They now realize the significance of explaining why the child is wrong and needs to be punished as opposed to just hitting them or yelling at them at the slightest provocation. However, discipline has also disintegrated in the sense that the voice of the child is now heard and even though it fosters mutual respect but there is a very thin line between speaking your mind and being disrespectful and rude. Many children today now speak back to their parents and other people in authority over them under the disguise of voicing a conflicting opinion. The best way to deal with this dilemma is for parents to set a good foundation at home by making a habit of separating fear from discipline and building a good communication system. It is difficult but it can and needs to be done.

2.       Culture

Culture is the most appropriate term to use in this situation because it refers to and spreads across the ideas, customs and social behavior of a particular people or society. Culture covers food, music and even dressing.  Old school music is a very specific genre and it can also be considered antique. Old school music may not appeal to the new generation but it still had more depth and content, so in that way it’s valuable. Old school music is listened to less and less and as such it has become more valuable. The only way to have the best of both worlds is to have music that appeals to the new generation but is based on the principles of old school. This has however become increasingly difficult because the sale comes before the message the song portrays. As for dressing, people who are of the old school era are very judgmental and so when someone does not dress a way they deem ‘appropriate’, they automatically label the person irresponsible. The society today is more open-minded to dressing according to the occasion and is not as judgmental. However, people again have a large tendency to abuse this privilege by dressing indecently and camouflaging it as freedom. It is imperative that parents teach their children to dress the way they want to be addressed and to be able to adapt their dressing in a decent way.

3.       Respect

Respect has become one of the most controversial issues in the mind of this generation. The Oxford Dictionary describes respect as a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities or achievements. There are few differences between respect in the old-fashioned sense and as it applies to the people of the present time. Another very important difference is the adaptability and versatility of respect. In the mind of an old-fashioned person, respect is very rigid and straight-jacketed; it is and can only mean one thing. In this kind of comprehension of respect, it quickly becomes fear which is why in some cases it is not advisable. Some old-fashioned views on respect are antique, for example respect for parents and other people in authority over one. There is no religion, or school of thought or belief system that supports disrespect for authority. Nowadays, young people especially teenagers feel like they can talk back to their parents and they camouflage it as “standing up for themselves”. The role of a parent or guardian is to correct their child when the need arises, and the role of the child in that moment is to listen and then apologize. After which, he or she can explain their own side of the situation if the parent asks. The main downside of old-fashioned is its inability to adapt, sometimes the adult is actually wrong and the child is right but there is no allowance for such. Also, respect for a person who is younger is a relatively new but very important concept. Versatility is also extremely crucial; one has to know when a handshake shows enough and other times when a little more is required.

4.       Gender roles

Most westernized countries claim to be very concerned that gender equality is still a huge problem but yet they are yet to take any drastic measures to rectify the situation. I admit this is a huge issue and therefore it will take more of an effort to deal with. I also think that this change we want to see can start by a change in the mindset of one person. Old fashioned values about gender roles are still prevalent. The notion that the man should work and the woman should raise the children is old fashioned. The main problem with the eradication of this disease is that most of it is hidden. The big companies will not explicitly voice that they would prefer a man in their highest positions because they do not need a maternity leave but a man and a woman with the exact same qualifications employed at the same time will not climb the company’s ladder at the same time. Men are never passively required to make a choice between their family and their career. Also, certain careers are socially associated with men and others with women and I think such a mindset is archaic and old-fashioned. For example, jobs that need a higher level of strength and agility like engineering and sport-related fields are generally viewed as masculine. Recently, ESPN ran a headline that read “The San Antonio spurs hire woman as assistant coach” but after some criticism, they changed it to “Spurs hire WNBA star Hammon as assistant”. I know that it is news for a woman to be hired as a coach in the NBA but the headline further emphasizes the fact that society always views a woman for her gender before her qualification. Although gender inequality is more dominant for women, it is not less important for men. In this society, when a man is a chef or an interior decorator or a hairstylist or a makeup artist, he is automatically viewed as a homosexual. Such judgmental attitudes make it more difficult for people to chase their passions without fear and doubt. Even though, there are some values associated with gender roles that are old-fashioned, there are a few that are antique. First, a wife should respect her husband even if she is better than him in any aspect of life. A man is the head of the household and should be assigned that much respect.

It is very important for people who have young children to make the effort to separate antique and old-fashioned values in the minds of their children at a tender age. It is equally as important for parents to let go of their old-fashioned values as it is for their children to be willing to hold on to the antique values. So, before you give the reaction you think you are supposed to give to that situation, ask yourself if the value you are about to instill is antique or just plain old-school!

Green with envy!

Envy is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as the feeling of wanting to have what someone else has. The Oxford dictionary defines envy as a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities or luck. Personally, I prefer Oxford’s definition because although it seems more complex, it is also more comprehensive and explicit. I prefer this definition because it portrays the fact some people are unconsciously envious. Some people are not actively longing what something someone else has but they become discontented with what they have or where they are or even begin to resent the other person simply because of something they have.

It is natural to be envious, it is what is done with this envy and how long it lasts that differentiates the good and healthy from the bad. The bad and unhealthy kind of envy is almost always money-driven. What I mean by this is that, envy becomes unhealthy when one is builds up resentment or discontentment because another person has more money than them. Some people may argue with this by saying, money can motivate one to work harder. To these people, I say that it is true that money can be a motivating factor, but it isn’t in this case. Money should be a source of encouragement, an added benefit but here, it is the only factor, and therefore a recipe for disaster. When money is a person’s only driving force, it is like adding fertilizer to a bare piece of land. No matter how much you add, a plant or crop will never grow. A seed needs to be planted first, so the fertilizer has something to work on. The seed does not depend on fertilizer to germinate; a fertilizer only motivates the seed to germinate faster.

The good and healthy kind of envy is much deeper and less materialistic. This kind of envy may be triggered by materialistic things but it immediately develops into a much deeper motivation. The difference between good and bad envy can be seen by the difference in thought processes of people. For instance, Kate and Mel are two of the biggest fans of Beyoncé. They both love her music, and are both initially intrigued by the image Beyoncé portrays. However Kate only sees the fancy clothes, the fancy cars, the private jets and the general lavish style. Soon she becomes consumed by the idea of Beyoncé she has created in her mind. If she is not careful, she would channel all her energy into become this person who does not exist. Mel also notices the lavish lifestyle but she is more conscientious. She does research on Beyoncé’s life and her journey and soon notices that it has not always being so rosy. A lot of hard work and dedication and blood and sweat and tears have gone in to make Beyoncé the woman she is today. Although both of them may become extremely wealthy as well, Kate’s foundation is shaky so she will most likely lose the wealth as fast as she got it. Mel on the other hand has worked for her money, so she will sustain her wealth.

Whether you like it or not, everyone has felt some form of envy, what separates is what one does with it and what envy as a concept symbolizes to each individual. Here are four steps to giving envy a good meaning;

Enthusiasm : Enthusiasm is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as intense and eager enjoyment, interest or approval. It is very important to know your personality. If you are the kind of person to get angry or frustrated when you hear of another person’s success, channel any anger or frustration into something more constructive. Channel your anger and frustration into bettering yourself in any way can, whether it is in practicing your craft, reading good books or sharing your ideas with the right people. You can only be angry or frustrated when you have time to be, use your time effectively. Spending your time complaining about someone else means that you think they are more deserving of your time than you are at that moment.

Notice!  : Study people who have what you want, not with envy but with enthusiasm. Read books they have written or suggested, listen to their interviews, use the internet! Here’s the funny thing about the internet, it encourages whatever you want it to. If you go on gossip websites, it will lead you to more gossip websites. If you go on inspirational websites, it will lead you to more inspirational websites. Instead of spending time you do not have gossiping about how rich people are illegitimately rich or how they are not spending their money wisely, learn how to make your own and then you can be in charge.

Value your journey and never play the victim: Valuing your journey is extremely important. Realize that everyone has a different journey in life, there comparing in any form will only make life more miserable. Do not look for shortcuts, recognize that every step in the journey is significant and serves a purpose. Also, it is important not to play the victim; there is nothing more unattractive and unflattering than wallowing in self pity. When one is successful, your first instinct should not be judging them or pointing out what resources that they had that you do not, thereby tagging their success “unattainable” for yourself. Excuses are for children, people who are fond of giving excuses take five times more time to accomplish the same task as someone who does not give excuses. Recently, I came across one of the most inspiring people in the world. His name is Nick Vujicic, he is a Christian evangelist and motivational speaker. He was also born with tetra-amelia syndrome which basically means he does not have any of his four limbs. If he wanted to be envious, it would have killed him because only 3% of the world’s population is born like him, this gives 97% of the world’s population and advantage over him, a percentage you most likely fall into. In the unlikely chance that you fall into the 3%, you are extremely special, and you also have an edge over 97% of the world. So I am referring to every single person, when I say, if Nick can do it, you can do it too.

Yours and Mine: In order for one to loosen one’s self from the shackles of envy, one has to be able to differentiate between what is for them and what is for others. Obviously, we as humans are drawn to materialistic things but these things can confuse us and as such we need to be cautious. Sometimes, when we see opulent celebrities in society, the message they send is received wrongly. Most frequently, rappers feel the need to flaunt their wealth in their lifestyle and on social media, but what is horrible is that young boys are not getting the message that diligence and hard work and persistence yields results. Instead they are getting the message that rap is extremely lucrative. This is probably why every Tom, Dick and Harry between the ages of fourteen and eighteen feels like they too, should begin a career in rap. Knowing what path is yours in life is very important because if you go on the wrong path, you miss your way and the whole journey becomes distorted.

This thing called envy can be extremely tricky. One has to be careful and wise enough to maintain a positive attitude towards other people’s success and achievement by giving envy a positive meaning to them. Remember, envy is a feeling, and therefore, it is meant to be temporary and short-lived. Envy only becomes a problem when it is dwelled upon and turned into an emotion and eventually a mindset. BEWARE!!!

Faith that works....

Martin Luther King Jr. once said “faith is taking the first step, even when you do not see the whole staircase”. The common perception of faith is strictly one-dimensional, most people associate faith with religion. While a significant part of faith is based on one’s religious beliefs, however a valuable portion of the comprehension faith is not. This quote effectively conveys this very important principle, according to this principle, faith is not tied to religious affinity; it simply explains that faith is having the courage to take an action when one is unsure of the outcome. The Oxford Dictionary defines faith simply as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. This further emphasizes the fact that faith does not have to be religious; it is just the confidence to do something without being afraid of the outcome. Faith occurs when one’s comfort level with doing an action is greater than their fear of the possible outcome of the action.

There are many things that need to be considered for faith to be efficient and effective but in this article, I have narrowed the list down to eight fundamental principles to remember:

1      Faith is never reasonable or logical

·         According to my personal understanding and interpretation of the oxford dictionary’s definition of faith and the quote, if a person’s approach to finding the solution to a problem is reasonable or logical, then there is no faith involved. If the risk attached to an action is calculated and minimal, then there is no faith involved. Faith usually comes into play when the agreed logical and reasonable next line of action is to give up. Faith comes into play when giving up will not be viewed as a sign of weakness, it is what the majority would deem fit.

2      Faith is recognizing that you cannot do whatever it is by yourself, it is in letting go and believing you will get your desired outcome

·         This fundamental principle is a just like a coin, it has two sides. Faith can be recognizing that you have tried everything you can do, so there is nothing left to do but believe that you have done enough to get you your desired outcome. On the other, faith can also come into play when your desired outcome is nothing short of a miracle. Here, you know that you need divine intervention and there is nothing that can be humanly done to rectify the situation. In such circumstances, religion comes into play, whether it is Christianity that teaches prayer and sometimes fasting or others who believe that the universe gives to them what they give to it. Buddhists believe in karma, so they believe that if you work hard for something, you get good results.

3      Faith is what you do when you are confident that you have done all you can do

·         Faith is what you rely on when you are confident you have done all you can do. If one has not put in the effort, then there is nothing for faith to multiply. In this situation, faith is not one-dimensional; it is not tied down to religion. The faith you rely on after all is said and done can be in yourself. Faith that you are good enough and you are worthy of the outcome you want. Faith can also be in God or in the existence of a higher power, when you have done all you can, depending on God can give you inner peace and a higher level of assurance and confidence that you will receive the outcome you want and that is best for you.

4      Faith that works, requires courage

·         Having faith and having faith that actually works are two completely different phenomena. Most people have faith in something, but actually getting your faith to work for you will require more effort and dedication. A wise man once said “faith is where your comfort zone ends”. This pretty much sums up the link and the relationship between faith and courage. Without courage, one cannot have faith. Courage is trusting yourself and knowing your worth and faith is having the courage to know who you are and loving it. If you are only doing things you know you can do, or things you would ordinarily do, or things that do not challenge you in any way, then you are definitely not working in faith and you are not working in purpose, worst of all, you are shortchanging the purpose God have given you in life. Living in your comfort zone is like the frog that stays in his little well his whole life and never crawls up to see the world. Or the snail that stays in his shell all his life and never comes out because he is afraid of getting harmed. Although they both keep themselves out of harm’s way, they are their own biggest obstacle in life. Staying in your comfort zone may prevent you from getting harmed or failing but it also makes you unable to make your presence known in the world, in which case you might as well not have lived in the first place. J.K Rowling once said "It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case, you fail by default".

5      Give!

·         No matter what your religious affinity is, or even whether you are religious or not, giving is a fundamental principle in life. It is very simple; you give in order to receive. Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, Jewish, it does not matter. It is the most fundamental basis of our existence as human beings. One cannot receive with a closed fist, it is impossible. You may wonder how giving is connected to faith and my answer is in every way. If you do not give something that inconveniences you then you do not belief in that thing enough. If you do not give in a way that you feel it, then you have not put in everything you can and therefore faith cannot work in that situation.

6      Faith is believing in yourself

·         It is absolutely impossible to sell a product you do not believe in. Therefore, you cannot sell yourself if you do not believe in your abilities and potential. Having faith in anything else is only effective on the basis that you are confident and you belief in yourself because that is whose skills and qualifications you are dependent on. In an interview, the interviewer already has an idea of your skills and abilities, what they hope to determine in an interview is who you are outside of the books, and they only see the weaknesses you show them. If you do not shake their hand firmly or look into the eyes when you speak then you are not confident in whom you are, so wouldn’t it be reckless on their part if they have confidence in you?

7      Faith is patience

·         This is one of the more difficult ones. The Merriam-Webster dictionary describes patience as the skill one possesses when they are able to remain calm and not become annoyed when waiting for a long time or when dealing with problems or difficult people. I love this definition because it pretty much covers everything that links faith to patience. First, it recognizes that patience is a skill and just like faith, not everyone possesses it. Also it recognizes the fact that patience is not merely waiting but it is in the style with which one does it. Patience is respectful and elegant it is not arrogant or rude. Patience like faith is multi-dimensional it not only deals with difficult situations but also difficult people. Faith like patience needs to be tried and tested to remain valid and effective.

8      Believe in the power of your faith

·         This is the most effective method in making your faith work. Believing in the power of your faith is almost as important as having faith in the first place because if you have faith but you do not believe it will work for you ten there is no point having it in the first place. As a Christian, I believe in the Bible, which says that if my faith is as little as a mustard seed, I will speak miracles into existence. Recognizing the power in my faith is also a responsibility because if you do not know the power you possess you will abuse it but if you are aware then you will be wise enough to know when and how to use it.

I believe that faith is very important in the survival kit of anyone in this world. It has so many dimensions to it and it is like a life insurance package that is well worth it because the premium is much less than what you get in benefits. Sounds like a solid investment to me, invest in faith today, and start reaping the rewards because trust me everyone can use faith, it really works!

Life is not a fairytale....but it can be!

So, I know that I'm 19 and the fact that I was thinking and gaining inspiration from disney princesses is a little weird but let's be honest, I am a little weird myself so this stuff should not surprise you anymore. Ok, now that that's out of the way, let's talk about them. I think we should start with the most popular,

CINDERELLA

Cinderella became a maid to her step mother and two step sisters after her dad passed away. She was constantly maltreated by her family and if she was going to be free from the shackles of her family, she had to take matters into her own hands. It was announced that there would be a ball at the palace where all the young maidens were invited, as it was now time for the prince to pick a wife. Of course, cinderella was banned from attending the ball. When her step mother and step sisters left for the ball, cinderella was visited by her fairygodmother who gave her a beautiful gown, glass slippers and a horse and carriage. She was now able to go to the ball, where she left her glass slipper in a bid to get back home on time and unnoticed by her step mother and sisters. In her mind, she probably tried to convince herself she was satisfied with just dancing with the prince but she knew she was not. So, how did cinderella turn her life into a fairytale?

1) She took matters into her own hands - I think that Cinderella was tired of being a victim. She was tired of taking the leftovers of her step mother and step sisters. It takes a certain anger that comes from being fed up to take a bold step and not look back. Do not wait for an event or a situation to motivate you to get to that level of anger, motivate yourself and refuse to take what life hands to you instead take what you want from life and make the most of it

2) Do not ignore opposition, work around it - Cinderella never ignored the presence of her obstacles instead she worked around them. Sometimes, one does not need to confront their enemies, they just need to be smart enough to work around them. Sometimes you just need to be wiser than your obstacle. The wisdom is in knowing when to face your obstacle nd when to work around it. Working around your obstacle sometimes is more paralysing to it than actually attacking it.

3) Make an impact - If there was anyone who knew how to make her presence felt, it was Cinderella. She was very subtle and passive about it but that did not make it any less effective or strong. Cinderella made sure she danced with the prince, so she layed the foundation of their relationship and then she left her glass slipper, so she sustained her impact on the prince. It was these actions that led the prince to look for her and this triggered the beginning of her happily ever after.

SNOW WHITE 

Snow white was a girl who fell victim to the queen of her kingdom's jealousy. The queen was jealous that she was no longer the fairest in the land. This situation may seem disconnected to life of today but if you look closer, it really is not. This story can be likened to a new job, a new school, a new position, a new boss where you become th new hottest thing and the preceding is shunned. The preceding is very likely to become jealous and they are often willing to do anything to sabotage the new kid on the block. 

1) This proves that help can come from the most unexpected places, so be open to receiving it - There was no way that snow white or the queen for that matter would have though that snow white would be rescued by the seven dwarfs. In today's world, change is inevitable but it is not the easiest to deal with. When you chnage jobs or schools or offices , where you get help from is most likely not where you thought you would get it from. Being open to help from anyone willing to give it can go a long way to making the transition a lot easier.

2) All that glitters is not gold - While in the house of the dwarfs, snow white is visited by the queen who disguises herself as an old lady selling juicy apples which snow white could not resist. When in a foreign place or even in familiar territory, one has to be extremely careful. As much as one should not be discriminatory whn receiving help, it is also imperative that one remains careful and is sure that there are no strings attached to the help you are getting. Remember, there is no such thing as a free lunch.

3) You may not have to work as hard you think to get what you want - Fortunately for snow white, a prince one day found her in the glass coffin she had been placed in by the dwarfs. Sometimes it just comes yor way without you making any effort. Again, wisdom is needed to know when to fight and when to wait. Sometimes, the point of your boss or your teacher giving you a hard task is not to prove yourself, sometimes it is to see whether you are confident enough to ask for help when you need it

4) Your most vulnerable self may be your strongest self. It does not get more vulnerable than being laid in a glass casket and unable to control your own body but it was also the moment where she met her prince charming. Sometimes, showing your vulnerabilty shows you are confident enough to just be yourself and that is exactly what your new boss or teacher needs to see. Admitted, the person who previously filled your new position may not be pleased but being yourself gives them no ammunition and proves to them that you are not trying to be them, so they know they have to let go and move on.

These princesses were not born with silver spoons in their mouths, they just painted their wooden spoons silver. Life is never a fairytale, one has to make a conscious effort to make it that way. The trick and the wisdom lies in knowing your own situation, not comparing yourself to anybody else. By doing this, you give yourself a fighting chance and who knows you just might find your prince charming and live happily ever after...

The Best Accesory

       "Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude"a wise man once said. Basically, this quote means that it is a person's attitude that determines how far they go and how much they acheive in life not how smart or talented they are. This is not to say that aptitude and knowledge and skill are any less relevant, these things are very important and they are actually what put you on the right path in the journey of life but attitude is what helps one to progress from one stage to the next.
        Keeping a good attitude is imperative in moving forward and experiencung growth in life. Without a good attitude, life would easily become miserable and unbearable. There are a couple of thngs to keep in mind in the struggle to maintain a good attitude, some of which are:

(1) DWELL ON THE GOOD AND LET IT DRIVE YOU TO DO MORE
        Nowadays, there are so many things working against you and there is an overdose of negativity in the atmosphere, that it makes it that much more difficult to se the silver lining. Therefore, we as individuals need to condition our mindsets in such a way that we do not belittle or ignore the good. A society makes it very easy for people to become comfortable with the bad that they are surprised by the good and before they get a chance to acknowledge it, it becomes too late. Therefore, if we are going to maintain good attitudes then we have to make a conscious effort to appreciate and savour the good moments, let them signify hope and motivate you to want more and reach for great heights.

(2) NEVER SEE FAILURE AS AN OBSTACLE BUT AS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE, NEVER GIVE UP!
        The only difference between a success and a failure is one's attitude. Failure is never an obstacle, it is always a chance to learn and grow, a chance to grow and mature. Never give up, as long as you are doing what you love and what you are passionate about. At this point, I think it is important to state that all this is definitely easier said than done, therefore surrounding one's self with people who have an equal devotion to keeping a good atitude will prove instrumental in each of the individual journeys. This way, you can form a support system and each person is less likely to fail.

(3) DO NOT LET BITTERNESS BE BOTTLED UP!
         A good attitude and the benefits associated with it can be hindered by bitterness. Bitterness forms an efficient channel for negativity to enter into one's life. Letting anger and bitterness go unresolved always ends poorly, it is definitely easy to ignore in the beginning, but when it piles up, it explodes and affects every area of your life. Letting go of bitterness is very important but knowing how best to let go is also very important. For some people, it is a mentor or a friend or a parent, however some people do not feel comfortable talking to people, in which case, a diary or a journal or a blog or a vlog could prove extremely helpful. Your outlet should be whatever you feel comfortable with , it is not so much the outlet but what is to be gained from using the outlet.

(4) SMILE! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT!
       It is very easy to smile when things a going great because it is the natural thing to do. Therefore, it will take a lot more effort to smile when things are not going the way we want them to, which makes it that much more significant. Smilimg is a method of controling one's mindset and aligning your mind to think positive no matter the circumstance. To stay two steps ahead, one has to be prepared to the unnatural. Smiling in bad circumstances would require a certain level of confidence because on the outside it will look crazy and people will be judgemental and it will make it that much more difficult to pull off. However one has to be willing to ignore the general perception of themsleves in order to create the person they want to become.

(5) HAPPINESS IS A DO-IT-YOURSELF AFFAIR!
      Do not wait for anyone, or a perfect time or a perfect place because truth is, it is never going to come. Make a conscious effort to make every moment and place perfect and be the person you are waiting for. Do not wait for anyone to make you happy, no one other than you should be entitled to that kind of power and authority. There is strength and confidence is knowing that you have great people around you but also knowing that if they were not there, you would still be happy and content and at peace with yourself.

(6) EVERY EXPERIENCE IS SIGNIFICANT!
      Every experience we as individuals go through is very important because they all are parts of the jigsaw puzzle that is your life, take one out and the jigsaw and hence the journey becomes incomplete. Maintaining a positive attitude, through any and every experience will make the journey of life more bearable, maybe even more enjoyable. Every experience has value and signifance and lessons that when learned will contribute to the quality of the overall outcome.

      Having a good attitude can prove to be very difficult but to get and maintain but so is the best accesory out there. It is easier to take a step at a time and recognise that everyone has their own unique path and perspective of the journey. Abraham Lincoln once said "we can complain because we know rose bushes have thorns or we can rejoice that thorn bushes have roses"