The story of snow white and the seven dwarfs is one of the
most famous in the history of Disney. Even though it has the typical Disney fairy
tale ending, where a girl in distress is saved by her knight in shining armour,
there are many life lessons to be learned. There are many significant motifs
and symbols but the magic mirror as a symbol is a detail that always sticks out
in my mind.
According
to the story, the evil queen woke up every morning to ask her magic mirror
“Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?” and every time for
seven years it answered “You, you my queen, you are the fairest of them all”. I
think it is important to state that there is nothing wrong with wanting the
approval of those around you; it only becomes an obstacle when you begin to
depend on it. The situation with the evil queen and her magic mirror has more
things wrong with it than Rihanna outfit to the Grammys but I will stick to the
two major ones.
(1)
Physical
beauty is important, but not half as important as inner beauty.
First, let me establish that beauty is by definition, gender
neutral. Now that that is out of the way, we can move on to more important details.
It is wise to state that physical beauty fades but inner beauty brightens.
Therefore, it is counterintuitive to focus on physical beauty and neglect inner
beauty. Physical beauty is a positive externality of inner beauty. Put simply,
physical beauty is a positive by-product of inner beauty. It is not logical to
focus on your physical beauty because the truth is no matter how beautiful you
think you are, you will always be ugly to someone. Physical beauty is
subjective but inner beauty is objective. Beauty is becoming less and less
about how you look. Even beauty pageants are increasingly becoming interested
in the beauty of the mind and not just the beauty of the body. For the first
time, a model with Down’s syndrome was allowed to walk a show during the New
York Fashion Week. In Toronto, Winnie Harlow, a fast rising model has scored
major endorsements, walked several shows and she also suffers from what is
commonly known as vitiligo. Vitiligo is a chronic skin disease characterised by
portions of skin losing their pigment. It is safe to say that if being
beautiful is just about the way you look, then neither of these girls would
have a fighting chance.
(2)
Be
your own mirror
It always starts with you. Start by pointing out things
about yourself that you do not like and figure out a step-by-step plan to fix
them. It is just as important to point out things you do like; it is not vanity
until it becomes vanity. Being proud of your accomplishments is perfectly
normal and even encouraged.
Depending
on another person for validation and approval is like sitting on a bomb unaware
of how much time you have before the timer goes off. Yeah, this is very
dangerous because your happiness is dependent on another person’s mood. You
become a literal parasite; a leech on an organism that could crap out at any
moment. You are neither helping yourself nor the person and what’s worse is if neither
of you realise the gravity of the situation because you cannot fix something
you don’t know is broken. You should be strong-willed and honest enough to tell
yourself the truth.
Being
reflective is a skill that is characterized by quiet thought and contemplation
and it is relevant, important and significant for every stage of life. The
value of reflection is best taught very early in life. Naughty corners are the
perfect place for a younger child to reflect on their actions, it worked for me
when I was in nursery school. According to child psychologist and expert Jo
Frost, a child has to be told what he or she did wrong for the exercise to be maximally
effective, if not they will just throw a tantrum and in the end nothing is
achieved. The naughty corner is extremely effective because during that time, a
child is typically deprived of any entertainment and attention, so there is no
choice but to reflect. After a few minutes the child becomes remorseful and
apologetic. If at such a young age, being reflective is so valuable, how much
more later on in life. Reflection is like a combo deal at McDonalds, it comes
with honesty, integrity, respect, maturity and better communication skills.
Most people
who have reached higher levels of maturity and education have figured out what
kind of behaviour is acceptable and what kind of behaviour is not. At a certain
stage, a child is now mature enough to be responsible for their academic
career. So what is paramount is the developing the ability to reflect on their academic
path through metacognition. Metacognition, yeah pulling out the big guns, it
means higher-order thinking that enables understanding, analysis and control of
one’s cognitive processes, especially when engaged in learning. So for normal
people like me, metacognition means learning how you learn, figuring out what
works and sticking to it. The process of understanding the way you learn is
catalyzed by a foundation of being reflective. Trying different methods and
evaluating one’s self, based on the results is an extremely effective method.
When one has completed their years of formal education, they will be faced with
problems that they cannot solve by just being able to read a textbook. In
real-life situations, one will be required to apply all the knowledge they have
acquired over the years. This, this is the stage where being reflective really pays
off.
Being
reflective is not an option in the society we live in because the world is not
as forgiving as a parent or your kindergarten teacher; you only get so many
chances to get it right. Therefore being able to evaluate yourself, learn from
your mistakes and figure out what works best in record time is an invaluable
skill that is essential for success. Being reflective means being able to think
about your strengths and weaknesses in a constructive manner.
Carrie
Bradshaw once said; “the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship
of all is the one you have with yourself”. Having a meaningful and effective
relationship with yourself should always come first. It enables you to realize
your worth as a person, and once you do that, you take the authority and power
back and you are now in control. When you value your own opinion, no other
opinion can hurt, because a lion is never scared of a dog’s bark. So, strive to
the best version of you possible because it will give you confidence and stop
you from turning to other people for comfort. When you are confident and
comfortable in who you are as a person, you stop asking empty questions like
“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?”
