In this world, there are two types
of people, hammers and nails. A hammer
is a person who is aware, a person who takes an active role in determining their
future. A hammer is conscious of every decision and every move, and how it
affects the journey to their end goal. A
nail on the other hand, is passive and nonchalant, and barely in control of
their life. A nail is basically a puppet being controlled by anything and
everything, often a hammer.
It is very
important to state now that there are times in life where we as human beings,
experience things that are completely out of our control. In such situations,
we are not nails. It is the aftermath of these experiences that determine
whether one is a hammer or a nail.
Here are a few
tips on how to be a hammer and how not to be a nail, consciously or
unconsciously;
·
Be
focused
o
Laser focus is an essential and fundamental
skill that every hammer must possess. Being focused involves tuning out all
distractions. A distraction is anything or anyone that prevents one from
accomplishing a set task in a timely, effective and efficient manner. Being
focused also often involved a lot sacrifice, self-management, time-management
and prioritizing. Becoming a hammer involves dissolving any and all relationships
that do not add any form of value to one’s life and journey.
Be
ambitious
o
Being ambitious is having dreams and goals that
will help you achieve those dreams. It is important to be able to differentiate
between the two, while still recognizing their individual value and
significance. Dreams are essentially goals that you presently do not possess the
tools needed to achieve. Being ambitious is often unrealistic and that is
perfectly fine. Being ambitious means having goals that challenge your ability
and open your mind to new ways of doing things. Goals that are guaranteed to move
one closer to achieving their dreams. Being ambitious helps maintain a certain
level of fire, focus and flair. Being ambitious helps one get comfortable with
dreaming big. Ambition ensures one is running towards something and not running
away from something. Ambition is never driven by fear or insecurity.
·
Hammers
are leaders
o
Hammers often possess leadership qualities. They
are open to creative criticism and maintain a positive attitude in the wake of
it. Hammers are always open to new ideas and different perspectives but they do
not depend on it. Hammers are able to adapt, they are able to get comfortable
outside their comfort zones. Leaders are wise, in that they are able to decipher
which situations need a leader and which ones require them to work effectively
in a team. More importantly, they are able to function effectively in both
circumstances.
·
Keep a
firm balance
o
There is a difference between having a mind of
your own and not being receptive to creative criticism. Being hard-headed is
never a positive personality trait. A hammer is also able to say ‘no’ without
feeling obligated to give an explanation. This is not to say that they are
comfortable being rude because that is unattractive. This is just to say that hammers
are not ‘yes-men’, they are not people pleasers. They are able to make sound
decisions and be comfortable with them. A hammer is articulate and always
conscious of tact and timing when communicating.
This is a
perfect time to discuss and clarify some misconceptions often associated with
being hammers and nails.
1.
There is a popular quote that basically
means that hammers often treat other people who are not as outspoken or
dominant as them, like nails. Although this is often accurate, a true hammer is
considerate of other people’s feelings. A true hammer is often the leader of
the group but makes sure to respect and recognize that every person contributes
a peculiar perspective to the group. A true nail recognizes that every person
has a magic that is just their own, a magic that cannot be duplicated.
2.
Contrary to popular opinion, a hammer can be
firm and stand their ground without turning people off. Hammers often have
dominant personalities but this is more like a common trait and not a
pre-requisite. Some of the world’s most famous hammers are extremely
soft-spoken and it works. A strong personality is not a manipulative or
over-bearing, it is one that is firm and one that commands respect without
directly asking for it. Having a strong personality is not off-putting, it is
not an excuse to be rude and inconsiderate and difficult. A hammer is not
overbearing, manipulative or forceful of their personal opinions.
3.
There are couple of people who do not realize
that they are nails. For example, the “God has a plan” nails. These are people
who are waiting for God to physically give them everything they want. Now, I am
a Christian and I do believe that God has a plan for every person. However, I
also believe that he leads one to this plan and multiplies your efforts to get
in line with His plan. Being a hammer requires a conscious decision and a
significant level of effort. A person who is sitting or lying down often cannot
be helped and zero multiplied by any number, no matter how big, is still zero.
4.
Being a hammer or a nail is not a personality
trait. Being a hammer or a nail is a choice; not making a choice is also a
choice. Being a hammer or a nail is social not biological. Even if one comes
from a long line of dead weights, it is not in the genes, it is the constant
and consistent contact with such people that pushes one to similar behaviour.
Some people grow up in environments and families where they are not required to
take any responsibility. Places where they have been spoon-fed and cuddled. The
positive thing is that since being a hammer is social, people have control and
are able to make the decision for themselves and this decision does not have a
time limit. The earlier the better though, because the older one grows, the
more difficult it becomes for one to change their lifestyle. Not because it is
impossible but just because people become set in their ways and unwilling to
change.
Being a hammer
is in your own personal interest. A
hammer will always have the upper hand over the nail. Hammers are leaders and
nails are their followers. Hammers will always get first pick and nails are always
left with the seconds of hammers.
It
all comes down to self-confidence and self-esteem. A healthy level of self-confidence and
self-esteem fosters the mentality and thought process of a leader. A level of
self-love, self-worth and self-respect ensures that one feels confident and
comfortable in their own skin. It helps one realize the value of their voice
and the fact that they too, have something significant to bring to the table.
You can bring something to the table if you do no know you have it. It also helps one recognize that they do not have to make
someone else feel less to feel more. This is one of the greatest and most
valuable lessons one can learn in life.
