Most people have heard the popular saying “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”, it seems extremely noble at first glance, but if we look closer we realize all its other potential interpretations and it is actually not as inspirational as it seems. Before I further analyze this saying, it is important to know the surface meaning, which is that when one is faced with a sour experience, a bad experience (could be a bad grade or the loss of a loved one), one should learn from such experiences. It encourages people to make the best out of the situation and not focus on the negative aspects of it.
I say “when life gives you lemons, give them back”. One of the things that I find fallacious about this saying is the fact that it gives people the impression that they have no option but to take the lemons. This is never the case, there is always a way out. I was watching a television show called “Scandal” recently, and Olivia Pope, the main character said something that resonated with me. She said when someone holds a gun to your head, you do not panic and you never give them what they want, you laugh and take the gun from them. Even if you are caught in the between the devil and the deep blue sea, the shore is probably not as far you think plus when there’s danger, you produce enough adrenaline to escape. Another option is to get acquainted with the “devil”, we are always advised to keep our friends close and our enemies closer, besides the devil you know is better than the angel you do not know.
What most people fail to realize is that you only have as many options as you give yourself. One is never out of options, if the option is not readily available to you, make it an option by yourself. Only you have the power and authority to decide what happens next. The lack or the failure to come to this realization is what makes most people fall into one or more of the following groups of people;
1) Some people are just really LAZY!
- A lot of people are really lazy in general, but what’s worse is that some people are diligent and committed but to the wrong cause. Some people are so lazy that even when life gives them lemons they are either too lazy to take them or they take them but they want the lemonade to be made for them. The people who are too lazy to take the lemons, end up with nothing. While the people too lazy to make the lemonade, end up complaining about the whatever is eventually made available to them. They end up settling for whatever they are given in the end, because they are still too lazy to look for alternative methods. This is one of the worst groups to belong to, being lazy in this society is almost deadly. Laziness is a catalyst for stagnation and lack of progress. A lazy person does not get crumbs from the master, he gets the crumbs from the dog. So, take it from me, laziness is not an option!
2) Some people are satisfied just being MEDIOCRE!
- This is a lot worse than being lazy in the opinion. For me to be able to effectively explain this group of people, it is important to clearly explain what mediocrity is. The word “mediocre” is the characteristic of moderate or low quality, neither good nor bad, barely adequate. This group of people put in just enough effort to accomplish a task. They are satisfied with the outcome, as long as they have not failed. Not aiming to do exceptionally, is aiming to fail. Failure to plan, is planning to fail. It is horrible to be mediocre because it is stagnant, a person neither moves up nor down. Many people are unaware of their mediocre status, they believe that once they are not failing then they are in the clear because as we know, ignorance is bliss. Many people who are aware in the mediocre, often disguise it under the beliefs in karma and they believe that whatever they are given is what they deserve which is never the case. When one fails, they feel discouraged and angry enough to put in extra effort but with a mediocre, he has not failed so there is nothing to be sad about and therefore, nothing to motivate him and nothing to aspire to. A mediocre is in limbo, he has no goals or aspirations. Some people just take the lemons that life gives them and think to themselves “at least its better than nothing” and its not in an optimistic context. They react that way because they are satisfied, fully satisfied with their status quo. Mediocrity is not just a disease and its an epidemic.
3) Some people are extremely SHORT-SIGHTED!
- Being short-sighted is not a quality that anyone who wants to be successful can afford to possess. It is a termite and a canker worm. It is a silent killer because a lot of people do not know that they are short-sighted, they see their nature as calm and being satisfied with what they have, others see it as routine and doing things a certain way so as to achieve a certain outcome. People who are short-sighted refer to themselves as the “go with the flow” and “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of person. In my opinion, this is just sugar coating their flaws instead of dealing with them. Being short-sighted short changes destinies. If one’s purpose in life is to be on Broadway but he can only see himself as a Nollywood extra, then he would not be equip himself physically or psychologically for Broadway. Until he sees his potential to be on Broadway, he may not take his present career seriously and as such he will never be noticed by the people who could have taken him to the next level of his career. Some people when given lemons, do not even think to make lemonade rather they make lemon-meringue pie or face mask (if you are a girl!). They cannot see their life beyond a certain point, they do not have enough confidence in themselves to want greater or ask for more. They often call it a “calm nature” but to survive in this dog-eat-dog society, one has to adjust and adapt their nature to suit the needs of this society. Adapting or adjusting your character is not changing who you are or compromising your values, it is being aware of your surroundings and working to remain valid and relevant in it. Everyone is competitive and everyone is a go-getter, so it will pay you to join the race and stop finding excuses and distracting yourself from the finish line.
4) Some people are extremely PASSIVE!
- These group of people are the people who are passengers on their own journey through life. Someone else is driving their bus. In this group, when thy are given lemons in life, they do not even bother to see if the lemons are viable, they just take them. Either because they are too lazy to speak up or they do not care enough or they are just so used to “going with the flow” that they are not really aware of their own surroundings. These group of people are seriously lacking self-confidence, which is what triggers their lack of active participation in their own lives. They do not think they are good enough to be seen and significant. They do not believe that their voice is important or they have anything to offer. They do not realize that one cannot sell a product he does not believe in. They have created a glass ceiling for themselves and this is horrible because a self0inflicted restriction is more potent than a society-inflicted barrier. Most times, these people have been this way for as long as they can remember, therefore it is almost a part of their character. Some people in this group , hide under the fact that they are afraid of confrontation to camouflage the deeper issue of lack of self confidence or worse, an inferiority complex.
5) THE RIGHT GROUP!
- This is the group of people we should all strive to belong to. This is the group of people that realize that one does not have to accept lemons, when life offers them. This is the least populated group probably due to the fact that a lot of people are not even aware of its existence. This is the group of people that have clear and concise written goals for the future and are willing to work hard enough to achieve them These are the people that do not leave their lives to fate, chance or destiny, which is not to say that these things are irrelevant, it is just to say that an over dependence and reliance on them should be strictly discouraged. it is acceptable to believe in chance, destiny and fate, what is unacceptable is to fold your arms and leave your decisions to be resigned to fate and destiny and chance because as strong as they are, they need to be guided as well. There are many ways to give back the lemon:
- Be resilient! - when something bad or unpleasant happens, your first instinct should not be to cry or wallow in self pity. It should be to get back up and look for a way to deal with the situation, and not to find the nearest means of escape.
- Be focused - when one is focused on the finish line in a marathon, no distractions can get in the way. An obstacle is just another object, it only becomes an obstacle when you pay attention to it. It is very important to know that nothing can have a significant impact on you unless you give it the power. For example, if you are running a marathon and you happen to come across a strange looking animal on the road and you slow your pace to take a closer look, chances are it is still going to be the same thing it was before you passed by but by slowing down, you have enabled your competitors to overtake you and you have lost time in the race.
- Be perseverant - after you give back the lemons, you may have nothing for a while but if you continue to focus on the big picture, then you will be able to withstand the pressure. Perseverance is a monumental aspect of being successful in life. It is very easy to feel discouraged and fed up, but it is important to know that there is always a reward for being perseverant
Ask yourself what group or groups you belong to and then from there you can begin to work on yourself. I admit that being in a bad situation can seem like the worst thing that could happen at that point in time but there is always someone who has it worse and a situation is only as unfixable and horrible as you make it. Make a conscious effort to change your perspective on problems and how to go about solving them. When next you are faced with a difficult situation, do not manage or endure it, overcome it. Always remember, that there are multiple solutions to every problem and the fact that you cannot see them does not mean they are not there. When life gives you lemons, give them back!
